What is High Value?

Simply put, High Value is what gets people to notice you and remember you. It is what gets you a constant stream of attention throughout the day, is what gets people to be kinder to you and treat you better [1] [2], is what gets a sales assistant to remember the model of trousers you bought when you last visited the shop one year before, is what gets someone you asked how many reps they have left with the dumbbells to bring them to you all happy and smiley when they are finished with them, you get the idea. High Value is what to aim for.

So, the next question is, how do you develop High Value?

It’s appropriate to start off with a dose of reality, since my intention is not to sell people a dream or a secret method to become a so-called “top-shelf guy” by tomorrow (and as a matter of fact, I have nothing to sell at all).

First off, there are some hard ceilings. Let’s take me as an example: no matter what I do and how hard I apply myself, I will never look like a male model, and I will never be as popular as [insert name of the most sought-after male celebrity of the moment]. And that’s perfectly ok. Everyone needs to play with the hand they have been dealt, while always and only focusing on what can be changed. No point in complaining we have been dealt a bad hand. No point in worrying about what we cannot change. Now, someone may object, “oh but that’s easy for you to say that, since you are good-looking”. Well, there is much more to me than that, and trust me when I say that I play the hand I have been dealt, I don’t say it lightly.

Moving on, developing High Value, as with anything worthwhile in life, requires effort. Sure, some people have a better starting point than others, but instead of looking at them (and complaining that the world is not fair) we focus on ourselves and work on what we can improve. We accept the unchangeables and only focus on the changeables. This is the key.

A lot of people obsess over the LMS theory. Sure, an incredibly high level of either Looks, Money (being shown off) or Status will give you High Value by default. And as a matter of fact, it’s hard not to be associated with High Value when pictures of you are used by top fashion brands for advertisement purposes (Looks), when you get to go to the supermarket with your shiny new Lamborghini (Money), or when you spend months in a row hopping cities around the world to perform in sold-out venues (Status). But that is not what I’m talking about in this blog.

The kind of High Value I’m familiar with and I refer to is much more achievable than that. It does not generate a gravitational force that draws all girls within a 2-kilometer radius to you, but still it makes you feel pretty damn good during the day. Every day. The kind of High Value I’m talking about is achievable by quite a lot of people, and is made of three pillars:

●  Looks
●  Vibe
●  Social Calibration

Bringing the above pillars above a certain threshold is what gets people to notice you, and remember you. It is what gives you the aura.

Looks

Pretty straightforward as you can imagine: the hotter you look, the higher the level of attention you receive when out and about. Looks is where every guy starts off on his journey to maximise his success with women. But there is much more to Looks than most people realise.

Vibe

This is where things start to get interesting, since a lot of people undervalue this aspect or even neglect it completely. Vibe is what adds a boost on top of your Looks, and this boost can be quite significant. For each of the pillar I’m going to write a separate blog post to go through the details, but for now let’s just say that the Vibe you want to project has a few key elements: confident, satisfied of your life, in control of the situation, nothing is a big deal.

Social Calibration

Namely the ability to read interpersonal situations and calibrate accordingly. This is what keeps you away from being labelled as a creep, is what lets people know that you will not be a social burden to them, is the spark that livens up your interactions, is what leaves a wake of positive emotions behind you.

***        ***        ***

These three are what I consider to be the pillars that most guys can leverage to boost their Value quite significantly. The more Looks and Vibe are maximised, the higher the attention you receive when out and about. The more Social Calibration is maximised, the more life will smile at you. And then, when you want to convert all of that into something more, you need to use a different tool: Game.

A note on Status

Common knowledge is that Status is the ultimate aphrodisiac. And I agree with that, on condition we add the following clarification: status is the ultimate aphrodisiac in the environment where said status is relevant. If you are a mainstream worldwide celebrity, then you’ve got the environment pretty much covered: wherever you go in the world, people will be acclaiming you and girls will be throwing themselves at you. Hardly applicable to most people though. If you are a nationwide celebrity, as long as you stick to the home soil you will meet fans everywhere you go, but when you go for a walk down the high street in a foreign city, hardly anyone will recognise you (except the few people from your own home country living there or just visiting). And so on. If your status is only linked to the local club where you perform as a DJ, or to the local football team you are the captain of, you will find out that when you take a plane and go on holiday somewhere else, you will be pretty transparent to everyone if back home you were only leveraging your Value through Status, while neglecting the other three pillars.

Another problem with Status is that in most cases is absolutely transient. Much much more than Looks, the two are not even comparable. With Status girls are not interested in you as a person, but rather in what your figure represents to them. And there are quite a lot of ever-changing factors outside of your control when playing the Status card: today you may be “in”, tomorrow who knows.

My recommendation for guys wanting to work on Status is: by all means do that, this may give you a boost in your local environment, but at the same time put the same level of effort, possibly more, on Looks, Vibe and Social Calibration.

A note on Money

In addition to the real rich who regularly show off their wealth, there are two other different groups of people resorting to this: on one side guys playing the Provider card, consciously or unconsciously, on the other side the VIP wannabees. Maximum respect for everybody, but that’s just not my cup of tea.

In this day and age most girl can be financially independent and live comfortable lives as long as they don’t have kids, so playing purely Provider game will simply identify you as the man who is going to provide the financial support needed to raise a family. And there are multiple problems with that: first off, almost certainly the girl will not find you attractive in the slightest, she will just find you useful and most likely resent you for that; then, what is useful today can become useless tomorrow, and long gone are the days where broken things (read marriages) were fixed rather than thrown away. There are also girls who are not financially independent, like young girls who are still at university, but this latest group is the most likely to be repulsed by someone who is playing Provider game. My recommendation to guys currently playing solely the Provider card is to work on the three pillars above starting from Vibe.

VIP wannabees are labelled as “try-hard” by most people. Still, they manage to naturally pair with the gold-digger wannabees. Clearly a win-win.

Notes:
[1] Allegedly, reading the consistent experiences of some self-declared “ridiculously good-looking” guys, an extreme level of attractiveness may generate a sentiment of hostility from other men that are fearful of losing their girlfriend to you, hate you because you are getting all the female attention, or simply feel inferior and over-compensate this by attacking you. It seems to be more of a nigh-time thing and I’ve never experienced any of this, simply because I am not in the Greek God category.

[2] What I have instead experienced are a few instances when the female member of the staff taking care of me tried to play power games to put me down. It’s easy for you to win this game: through your actions you display that her behaviour does not even blips on your radar, you simply don’t react and shrug her off like that.

The Essentials:
• Fundamentals
Game