This post is a momentary deviation from our journey, but still, we all get briefly side-tracked in life. And I got side-tracked from writing the guide on Looks this morning, while I was stuck in traffic, and I kept thinking about the Effort vs. Result post. All that thinking made me realised two things. First, some of the “ever diminishing returns” parameters, mainly the ones having to do with showing off money, can have a bump at the extreme level of Effort (this situation is not applicable to most people though, since we are talking about big money here, we are in millionaire’s territory). Then, these parameters introduce a new and different concept, the concept of Minimum Required Thresholds.
Let’s proceed in order. There are some low self-esteem and materialistic women who attempt to compensate their own perceived misery by associating themselves with people who are “high status” in their eyes. And I’m not talking about High Value here, not at all. The “high-status” men who these women go after are either the “credit card millionaire” try-hards (aka the “fake rich”) or the “wannabe VIP” try-hards (guys with a bit higher-than-average virtual followers, who think they are the shit because of that). Why did I use “try-hard” to describe both categories? Because these people have their own self-esteem issues, they need external validation to cope with those, and to get that validation they behave either “like a rich person” or “like a sought-after celebrity”. And since they are playing a role who is very much distant from who they really are, they do it a bit clumsily and trying a bit too hard. Going back to the low self-esteem and materialistic women: what do “rich people” and “sought-after celebrities” have in common? They are surrounded by beautiful women, or so most people think. For your average try-hard, associating himself with a gold digger is good, since she represents that missing piece of the puzzle for him. For your average gold digger, associating herself with a try-hard is good as well, since his “high status” represents that missing piece of the puzzle for her. The try-hard and the gold digger are not interested in each other at all, they are only interested in the image that the other person represents to them. Clearly a win-win: when you multiply two minuses, you have a plus!
“Gold digger” is kind of a louse world, since there are many nuances in it. What is “gold” for one may be “silver” for another, and “platinum” for another still. When I say “gold digger” I refer mainly to a concept, the concept of a woman sizing you up looking only at your assets and earning potential, you as a person are just not part of that equation. Then we have “status digger”, same again but sizing you up on a different parameter, the only constant thing being you not counting as a person, but only how well you score on that parameter. Many more of these parameters exist, but money and status are surely the most common. If you are doing things right, women like that are not part of your life, since you filter them out pretty quickly as part of your screening. The try-hard diva vibe they project is unmistakable, if you are in a place of acceptance and emotional health, they will be simply repellent to you. And the real rich and the real VIP, who more often than not are in a place of acceptance and emotional health, will find them repellent as well. And here comes the “credit card millionaire” try-hard or the “wannabe VIP” try-hard to save the day!
Gold diggers are pragmatic and have a good understanding of the “he’s out of my league” concept (not like the girls on Tinder), so their objective is to settle at the maximum level they pragmatically think they can reach. As a result, they split themselves in three categories:
● The sponsor hunter
● The provider hunter
● The hardcore gold digger
They all have in common the two peculiarities we mentioned earlier on, low self-esteem and materialism, plus the fact that you as a person are just meaningless to them. Where they differ is in their expectations and demands.
The sponsor hunter, aka sugar daddy hunter, is young and hot. The sponsor hunter has gym membership paid for, holidays paid for, gifts left and right, dinners in the fanciest restaurants, etc. You need to be fairly rich to pull that off. Roughly 15 years ago one of my acquittances of the time ended up in an LTR with a sponsor hunter, and she was just sucking him dry (in all senses).
The provider hunter is a former sponsor hunter, or a wannabe sponsor hunter who unfortunately for her is not that hot. Careful: here I’m not talking about an emotionally healthy girl who wants to start a family and starts looking for a partner who is a good person in her eyes, plus financially stable as well. No, I’m talking about women who still size up men based on their assets and earning potential, but need to scale down their demands compared to the sponsor hunter. You don’t need to be as rich to pull this off, but you still need to meet a few “high status” entry requirements to sit at the table and play this game (if you want to…me count me out).
The hardcore gold digger is just a pro at this, and she can afford to go after the real money. She is rarely seen in the regular world inhabited by the regular people.
Armed with these new definitions, let’s have a look at the graph below.
Actually, let’s take a step back first, and let’s consider again the first though from the beginning of this post: some “ever diminishing returns” parameters can have a bump at the maximum level of effort. Let’s consider cars:
① = VW Up, Opel Agila, Fiat Panda
② = Audi A1, A-Class, 1 Series
③ = Audi A4, C-Class, 5 Series
People using their car as an attraction parameter would quickly realise that, when the “gold digger” category has been removed out of the equation, after a certain level the extra Result they get when they put in extra Effort ($) gets smaller and smaller: “ever diminishing returns” indeed. Regular people who play the regular game usually stay in regions between ① and ③ only, and are all subject to the EDR pattern. Though life for the regular people. But then, what happens when a rich dude parks his shiny new Lamborghini and gets out of the car? Reactions can go from “everyone takes notice” to “he’s acclaimed like a rock start”, depending on where this happens, at what time, the exact type of the car, etc. Now we are in region ④, millionaire’s land. We have left the regular game played by the regular people, and at this level of Effort ($) the Result we get from this parameter gets a considerable boost. Everyone will take much more notice of you, people around you will smile, guys will come talk to you or as a minimum start taking picture of your car, girls will be flirty, etc. It’s only normal that you will score “just a few more points” even with the most innocent and well-intentioned of the sweet girls because of your car. It’s only normal.
Let’s go back to the concept of Minimum Required Thresholds: in the above example with cars, a sponsor hunter will be repulsed if you go pick her up with your shiny new Opel Agila. Literarily she will perceive that as the biggest offence ever, since her own self-esteem is closely linked to how much “high status” she perceives you to be, and people who are “high status” in her book simply would never do that (they are called “try-hards” for a reason…). This makes you understand why some very reach people live modest lives: by doing that, they will be repellent to the gold digger, and that’s exactly what they want. Thumbs up for the emotionally healthy rich people! On the contrary, when you pick up a sweet girl with your Opel Agila, very possibly you will not make her swoon just with your car, but at the same time nothing unpleasant will happen: depending on her and the vibe between the two of you, either she will make a playful joke, which you will agree with and amplify, or the car will go completely under the radar. She’s not after your wallet after all, and her self-esteem is not linked to the type of car you pick her up with. God bless the sweet girls! Compared to the sponsor hunter, the provider hunter and the hardcore gold digger will simply have different thresholds for expressing disgust at your car. Bad news for you: when you go around with your shiny new Lamborghini, they are all after you. Good news for me: no such problem at the beginning of region ② ;)