No affiliate links in here

Keeping the message pure

While I was writing the guide on Looks, in which I specifically mention some of the products I use, I briefly considered whether or not use affiliate links. That though only lasted a fraction of a second, and I immediately kicked it out of my mind for two simple reasons.

First off, affiliate links muddy the waters big time on the internet. There are quite a few websites which, when they provide a recommendation for a specific product (and the relevant affiliate link for you to follow, of course), they don’t do so because they think that product is better than the competition, not at all. It’s simply a case of the company behind that product having a more generous affiliate program than the competitors. Simple as that. I’ll give you an example: when you want to start a blog or a website, and you do some online searching into that, you quickly notice that every man and his dog is recommending Bluehost for web hosting. You have a look at that, and you see that in terms of feature and technical performance Bluehost seems to be doing well. Then you dig a bit more, and you notice that also HostGator is doing fairly well, and maybe is actually a better choice for you. Then you keep digging, and you bump into a more “independent” website explaining how both Bluehost and HostGator are part of a conglomerate called Endurance International Group (EIG), which is listed on the NASDAQ. You find out how EIG’s business strategy is to expand through acquisition, how they own 80+ web hosts, and how after acquiring each new host they proceed to do some “streamlining of operations” and “cost optimization”. Me, I’m a capitalist, but a responsible one. Me, I believe in generating capital gains by taking advantage of the intrinsic long-term inefficiencies of the stock market, in which most participants forever swing between extreme greed and extreme fear, leaving opportunities for the few level-headed investors left. Me, I believe in a balance between making a profit and keeping people employed. Me, I don’t like companies like EIG, which increase revenue through acquisitions and margins through “streamlining of operations”. Me, I don’t like it when I go in the website of a host, which I though was standing on its own feet, only to later discover that both the initial reviewer and the host itself were being economical with the truth. Me, I don’t like all that “economical with the truth” approach behind most of the affiliate links all over the internet. And just so that you know: if you have your own website and you use affiliate links, that’s perfectly fine by me. I’m not taking at shot at you in this post, not in the slightest, I’m just explaining why I decided to go in a different direction.

There are also some different websites which clearly mentions it when the link is affiliate, and this is a much better situation. Still, there are two possible and very different reasons behind this approach: extreme honesty and extreme manipulation. Extreme honesty is when people are upfront about the fact that they are going to take a commission from your purchase through the affiliate link, and clarify that the only reason they are providing that link is because they themselves think the product is good (and this is the truth, they are really convinced of that). Most readers like honesty, and as a result they are actually a bit more in favour of going ahead with the purchase after reading that. This approach and the motivation behind are good, I like it that way. On the opposite side of the spectrum there is extreme manipulation: people who understand how the mind works and what the readers respond to, and use this knowledge to manipulate the readers to their advantage. The extreme manipulators use the same approach (“this is an affiliate link and we you to know that, and the only reason why we provide the link is because we think ourselves the product is great”) but with very different motivations: they know they will gain some extra points and the readers’ trust by saying that, and the fact they never used that product for real, or they maybe they used it and found it subpar, it’s irrelevant to them. This situation is the worst of the three, by a big margin. People doing that have either full-blown or traits of Anti-Social Personality Disorder, and the ability to spot people like that in real life comes in handy as a defence mechanism. On a side note, the other three Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic, Histrionic, Borderline) are very relevant to seduction, as we will see in due time.

So why am I not going with the “extreme honesty” approach with regards to affiliate links? First of all, this approach is way too “nice guy” and way too “good student”. Brrr. Then, since “extreme honesty” and “extreme manipulation” only differ in what goes on behind the scenes (my head in this case), what the readers see on the screen would be exactly the same. And now that I have explained the entire mechanism to you, how would you know whether I fell in the “extreme honesty” or “extreme manipulation” bucket? Well, just by reading the way someone writes, you can have a good idea which bucket they belong to, but maybe all this writing and all this explaining were just to gain more of your trust and bring the manipulation to an even higher level? You didn’t think about that, did you? Or maybe you did? Well, let me clear the air for you: I strongly dislike manipulation, but I have a fairly good understanding of how the mind works, and I see quite clearly the possible and different levels of manipulation (ranging from the most innocent of the white lies to much more serious and diabolic stuff). But I only use this knowledge as a defence mechanism, and to make sure that the people who try to take me for a ride have a taste of their own medicine. If you don’t believe me, you can ask the bunch of people who have either tried to manipulate me to serve their own agenda, or just used shit like “negs” and subliminal messages (both a form of emotional manipulation) to (try to) put me down in order to put themselves up. They all got back a taste of their own medicine indeed. First, they were exposed there and then, playfully at times and less playfully at some other times, but the “don’t fuck with me” message was clear in all cases. Then, for the most serious instances, for the chronic offenders let’s say, once you understand how to send subliminal message under the radar, you can really undermine someone’s confidence little by little, without them even realising what’s going on (the F117 way), and as such without them having the opportunity to counter-attack. Or maybe a few subliminal messages were not under the radar, but they were such “trivial things” that had the other person said something, it would have looked back on them. All this is a defence mechanism only used when people try to take advantage of me. And this shows how important it is for you to promptly catch the subliminal messages thrown in your direction, either under the radar or as “trivial” things, and to send them back to the sender straight away. There and then. At times playfully, at some other times less playfully. But you don’t take any shit from anyone under any circumstances, and we will see this concept better explained when we talk about Vibe.

By now you may be wondering whether you ended up in a daygame blog or a psychology blog. And your objection would be actually pretty legitimate. Fact is, the ability to see all the possible plots in a situation, the ability to understand why people do certain things and what they want to achieve with that, the ability to distinguish between what people want you to think they are thinking vs what they are actually thinking, the ability to pretend you are thinking what they want you to think when you are actually not, well…all this is extremely useful in “game”. Or at least in the type of “game” I play. But keep this in mind please: sweet girls and people behaving well and respectfully are never to be hurt. Subliminal messages and shit like that are only to be used as a defence mechanism, as counter-attack.

Moving on, do you remember when I said that there were two initial reasons why I quickly discarded the thought of using affiliate links? I almost didn’t remember it either, after all that talking. Let’s assume that I decided to go with the “extreme honesty” approach explained above. Let’s assume that in the guide on Looks I list some of the products I use, I put affiliate links behind them, a few readers follow the link and go ahead with purchase, then what? I will have a commission from the purchaser, let’s round it up 5%. And then what? Let’s take an overly optimistic number, and let’s say that in one year I make 5,000 EUR through the affiliate links. Then what? Those 5,000 EUR are not going to improve my happiness, my sense of worth and my life in the slightest. Not that I’m a millionaire, but simply put I don’t have a money problem right now. And even if my salary is reasonable, I don’t have a money problem because I see money as a tool, and not as an end. This is the key.

Money to me is a tool, more specifically the tool I use to live a comfortable live and to not worry about financial difficulties when I go to bed at night. To a few of my colleagues, whose salaries are at the same level of mine or higher, to them money is an end. And as such they complain how things at the discount store have gotten more expensive (“things are not as they used to be…sigh”), how the canteen “keeps forever increasing prices…sigh”, how the managers are terrible because “they gave me a 1.8% salary increase while I was expecting a 2% increase…sigh”. They really are just prime cringeworthy material. On paper, they don’t have a money problem the same way as I don’t have a money problem, but still, they live their lives miserably, in a constant state of unhappiness and dissatisfaction, forever complaining (on a side note, considering all of the above, it’s only normal for them to resort to passive-aggressive behaviour with the people around; and it’s only normal for me to put them back in their place there and then every single time their target is me). I can understand someone struggling with money being not that happy of the latest round of price increases at the supermarket, since to that person it can be a serious problem. But I will never understand nor keep in high regards people like those colleagues of mine, who waste their lives worrying about trivialities, and confuse life itself with the tools we have at our disposals to live said life the best we can.

To me, the key thing with money is not to waste it, and the reason I dislike showing off so much is because that kind of behaviour is as bad as it gets in terms of wasting money (plus is an indicator of the low self-esteem issues of the person resorting to that behaviour, but I’m not sure how much this is clear to everyone, so those issues are not picked up by most people when someone shows off his “high status”). Sure, I still go after deals, sales and all that, of course. But I have no mental block preventing me from buying organic meat and fish at the local market and paying the high price associated to that, and actually I do it with pleasure since I take care of my body like that. And I have no mental block preventing me to join a gym that costs double the price of the average gym in town, since in that gym everyone is more relaxed, you can actually talk to people, and is full of girls who have signed up there to train in a more civilised weight room and for the fitness classes (the core business of that gym). People like those colleagues of mine would not buy the organic meat and fish, nor would they join the more expensive gym, and not for a money problem, but for a mental block.

Sure, there are also people with a real money problem, or people savings towards a real target (which is not just being delighted to see the account balance increase month after month), but I’m not talking about them here. I’m talking about people who are stuck dealing with the trivialities of life because their mental block prevents them to see those trivialities for what they really are: trivialities. Me, at this point of my life and having dealt with fairly serious things already, I am very much above all those trivialities. Those hypothetical and overly-optimistic 5,000 EUR I would get from referrals would not change my life in the slightest, and as such I prefer not to use affiliate links in here. I want to keep the message pure, without any of the “mudding the waters” or “economical with the truth” approach we discussed earlier on. Because for every single website providing affiliate links with the best of the intentions (“extreme honesty” approach), there are X other links-providing websites driven by very different motivations. And as such the doubt always lingers in the air when someone bumps into an affiliate link. And as such there are no affiliate links in here :)

Now just for some reassuring: yes, this is a blog on daygame and girls. And yes, eventually I will start writing on my own methods and on “what to say to girls”. And actually, for your information, I started keeping tracks of the pings and the playful teases I’ve been using in recent days with great results, the kind of pings that break the ice smoothly, and the kind of teases that drive girls just crazy (whether I sleep with them or not depends on their sexual availability, hence the latter is not a good KPI). Fact is, if when I start writing on “what to say to girls” the examples I quote will look “a bit too simple to work”, let’s just say that I wrote 30 posts beforehand for a reason.

The Essentials:
• Fundamentals