I’m not taking a shot at you

I’m just expressing my view on the matter

Earlier on today, while I was writing the guide on Looks [1], I kept thinking of the “no affiliate links in here” post, and I felt compelled to add a couple of sentences in there to clarify an important point. Because here in the blog, as in my real life, I come on strong with my own opinions. And in my everyday life, having learnt the art of reading body language quite effectively, I clearly see that some people are “offended” by the fact that I have some strong opinions, and that these strong opinions of mine are not aligned with theirs. They would like for that feeling of theirs on the matter not to be picked up, but after all this practicing of reading body language, I all I need is the slightest of the micro-expression or the smallest of the body movement to catch the emotion they are doing their best to suppress.

Luckily, I can only think of very limited number of people who get “offended” by a confident guy expressing an opinion. And I say “luckily” because those people come from a place of low confidence and self-doubt, and dealing with this sort of people is like dealing with ceramics: you need to handle them with extra care, otherwise they break down under pressure. And extra care is tiring, I’d rather “just be myself”. Actually, between me and you, the people I’m referring to would greatly benefit from reading this blog, since the human mind is flawed, and leads people to ignore a concept when explained by a friend or colleague of theirs, only to then go on the Internet, see the very same thing explained by a complete stranger they have never met before, and they go like “what a brilliant thing I’ve just read.” Same concept, coming from two different sources, received in a completely different fashion. And why is that, my friend? Ego.

Ego is the root problem of many of (all?) the inter-personal problems around us. Ego is what makes you procrastinate getting stared with daygame. Ego is what triggers the excuse-generating part of your mind convincing you that you don’t feel well enough to go running the “scary-long” half-marathon you have been training six months for [2]. Ego is what steers you towards low-value behaviour, like impatiently or angrily honking at other cars while driving, like shouting at the server because they brought you the wrong course, and similar “fine” things. Yeah, ego is that bad. Ego wants you to never step out of your comfort zone, to never take even the smallest of the chances of failure and embarrassment. And as such, the only way to reach your objectives, the only way to grow as a person and reach a state internal acceptance, well, you should have guessed by now, the only way to do all that is to learn how to keep your ego under your control, and not the opposite, at all times. My God I’m digressing again, and I don’t even remember what this post was all about…let me start reading it again from the beginning.

Here we are again. All right, I’m not taking a shot at you…Yes, I was saying that in the post on affiliate links I come on strong with my own opinions on the matter. And just so you know, that post is the one I’m the proudest of for the time being. I’m proud of that post because it contains part of my philosophy of life, and my philosophy of life is who I am. You see, this is what happens when your validation comes from within you, and not from externalities like “notches” and “flags”: you become proud of the way you think, you become proud of who you are, and you have your own strong opinion. But, and this is the key, at the same time you are high confidence enough to listen when someone has a different view on the matter, you use that occasion to reassess your own position and to either fortify it some more, or to acknowledge that they proved you wrong, and to admit you made a blunder. And you admit it there and then, proudly, since starting to argue that black is white is one of the many low status behaviours you need to remember to strive away from.

Back to the affiliate links post. In that post, until this morning, there was no mitigation whatsoever for a possible reader that may have been offended by what I was saying. And fact is, forget all the “alpha” bullshit, since this “alpha” thing is just a sign of the times, and keep this in mind instead: politeness must never go missing. Being strong, damn strong, but with a relaxed smile on your face, and while being respectful of others at all times, this is what to aim for in my book. It’s fine being a playful asshole, people respond greatly to that once you are Socially Calibrated, and you will see plenty of relevant examples in due time. On the other hand, what is not fine is being a disrespectful low-status loser.

Yes I know, the affiliate links post…as of now there is a sentence halfway through explaining that I’m not taking a shot at anyone, that if people want to use affiliate links in their own website is fine by me, but that nevertheless I don’t like the idea of affiliate links in the slightest. And then the post goes on as it was previously, with even more of my strong opinions, covering things like Anti-Social Personality Disorder and a bunch of other things completely irrelevant to daygame. Daygame will come eventually, and posts like “my “secret” openers”, “pinging girls the right way”, “teasing girls the right way”, etc. are almost ready. But for your information, my friend, at any one point in time I have one main post open [3] plus other five to 15 work-in-progress, since it has been three weeks now that there is real whirlwind of thoughts and ideas in my mind, and I keep mentally writing disconnected parts of different posts, while at the same time physically writing the main one, and then I proceed to write the new “sections” in the relevant posts I’ve been mentally writing while I take a break from the main post. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, and when someone asks you how he could ever forget “that special girl who just dumped him”, well you can recommend him to start a blog, and she will literarily disappear, assuming the dude who just got dumped has an enormous amount of cool things to share with the world. Starting a blog when you have something relevant to say is just fantastic really (technical post to get you started on that is in the pipeline already). See my friend, this is what happens when you have carefully reflected over something for months and months, years, and then you decide to open a blog and capture your thoughts there.

Reader: so why are you not releasing the “my “secret” openers” post this week, if it’s almost ready?

Because I’m following a structure, a logical flow, and I will release posts in a precise order. We are still in the Fundamentals sections for now, and by the end of next week you will have a huge guide on maximising your Looks, which should keep you busy for a while.

Reader: not sure about all that, maybe you just want us to become “invested” in the blog, like the dudes at the Red Pill sub do?

Ah no, don’t worry about that. Here no “investment” is required: as far as I’m concerned you can come back in two or three months, and read directly the “what to say to girls” posts. But just so you know, I think they will look a bit empty without the supporting structure behind. Then up to you.

Damn it, let’s stay focused on the subject of this bloody post lol. No reason to mention the grading system of the Red Pill sub, Sgt Auto Mod shooting down posts from new accounts, etc. Maybe it could be the subject for a different post. Maybe. On the other hand, talking about things which surely will be subject of a future post, I contacted the Red Pill Mods just recently. That post will be called “Maintaining your Value in front of the Authority – The difference between respect and submissiveness”, and since it’s only normal for the Red Pill Mods to be perceived as a “big thing” in the pick-up community, my two messages to them fit the subject I will be talking in that post about just fine. Their word-by-word reply will not be reported in this blog, of course, since doing that would be extremely low status, but I will report my own words instead. Eventually.

Back to the affiliate links post, once again. Before making that change, the post may have come on “a bit” strong on someone, someone may have been offended by my line of thinking, but let’s look at the chances: as of now that specific post has been read by one reader only. One reader! Compared to the thousands of views of the Tinder post. Now come on my friend, we are just between us here, tell me something please: how many daygame blogs do you know where one single Tinder post has more views that all other posts put together?

Reader: but you haven’t written a single line on daygame yet?

Me: “damn it…these readers are way too clever…”

Ah yes, I was saying, before making today’s clarification within the “no affiliate links” post, can you imagine if the one and only reader who has ever read that post, God bless him, can you imagine if he has his own website and uses affiliate links in there?

Emoji LOL.jpeg

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Let’s cut the crap and let’s wrap this post up, shall we? I’ve not even started with what I wanted to say and I’m digressing way too much, too much even for my standards lol. There are only two types of people who may not take it well when they read one of my strong opinions:

● Guys who see their own believes being challenged, and since they were not so confident of those believes to start with, they over-react.

● Guys who have their shit together, are confident and all that, but they disagree with what I say and think that their voice is not being heard.

To this second group of guys, what I say is the following: when I’m talking to someone and I don’t agree with what they are saying, I don’t like it going away without expressing my own view on the matter, since if someone says something and you don’t say anything, you implicitly agree with that (between me and you, I don’t think there are many daygamers browsing their nose up the ladder of Corporate Land, since a skill you need to have in order for you to step up that ladder is the ability to take shit). So, to this second group of guys I say: feel free to comment if you disagree with something I say, all comments will be approved as long the language is civil and there is some argumentation behind the statement, and in that way your voice will be heard, and we’ll talk about the disagreement calmly, like the grown-ups do.

Let’s move to the first group, since it’s there that the real problem lays. Let’s look again at the example in the initial image, and since we’ve been talking of completely different things so far, I’ll insert the image in here as well:

13.png

Of course, this situation is exaggerated, it’s just for a laugh (and hopefully we are all in agreement with what I’ve just said, hopefully…). What happened with the guy just above? He had his own believes, which were just about masking his own insecurities, then an “stupid idiot from the internet” (yes, me…) came along and proceeded to dismantle that sand castle, and now the guy just above is pissed off (I meant “upset”, excuse my French) since his insecurities have resurfaced from wherever he had hid them. Think about it, when your neighbour angrily honks at the car driver who has just “disrespected him”, he’s basically reacting to something that was challenging his own perceived “high status”. I said no more digression so let’s stop there for once, and let’s look at the example below.

13-1.png

A bit more realistic than the Nice Guy example, but still. Here we have someone who was living a dream (becoming a Top-Shelf Guy; by tomorrow, of course), only to have you arrive, take him by the hand, and bring him back to reality. That made for rude awakening, just look at his reaction. Yeah…I don’t see a lot of self-confidence there either. Same mechanism as in the Nice Guy example, and this specific example explains why you don’t go after dreams, but objectives instead. As long are you are targeting an objective you are still in contact with reality, with the dreams you just fly high, but the higher the height of the illusion, the harder the landing coming back to reality. Ouch.

As you know by now, today I already had to insert that clarification in the affiliate links posts. Then I started looking for images for the “gym dress code” post, in order to show what not to do, and I realised that, since I imagine that the situation at the gym where you go is fairly similarly to the situation at the gym where I go, and considering that while I was selecting the images words like “cringeworthy” and “as bad as it gets” kept coming to mind for some of those pictures, and since it’s possible that a few of you guys may actually go like that at the gym, well, considering all that, I thought it was a good idea to write this post once and for all, like a universal disclaimer I will keep referring to as I write posts and use some of my strong expressions: I’m not taking a shot at you, I’m just expressing my view on the matter [4].

Reader: and do you think that your view is better than mine?

Funny how one of the guys I was referring to at the very beginning of the post (the low-confidence self-doubt people you need to handle with extra care otherwise they crumble under pressure), who by the way is the same guy I talk about in note [2] (who was rationalising backwards to me the excuses he had made for himself not to go run the half marathon this last weekend), funny how the same guy asked me the exact same question just last week. (Psst…here’s a secret just for you: you don’t want to be like that guy).

Fact is, you need to be convinced of your own belief. Look at me: when I need to buy something, I consider what I need that product for, then I consider the requirements I need the product to have, then I look at the options available on the market, then I consider if there is one model which is clearly “better” than the rest of the pack in terms of my needs vs its requirements, if not then I decide which requirement to prioritise, then I do some deep research, and then, after I’ve taken a decision for a specific model, I leave it there for a day or two, thinking of reasons why not to go ahead with that that decision, and if nothing emerges during that period, I finally pull the trigger. Rock-solid purchasing process. This is how you stay away from “buyer’s remorse” and all those other “afterthoughts” people constantly have. And which people? People who are driven by emotions, people who first take a decision on a whim, then “rationalise” it (backwards, of course). And there is a word for this latter decision-making process: intuitive thinking, aka being driven by emotions rather than logic. But don’t tell my manager please, she already thinks that the best place where to be in terms of IQ is between 105 and 115, and she actually said it proudly to me, and that’s when I thought “suuuuure my dear, keep dreaming”.

We were saying that you need to be convinced of your own belief. And that’s fine. Then, since you are a cool and confident dude, you are ready to listen when someone offers a different point of view: you listen, you evaluate, maybe you want to sleep over it, since you are better off reflecting on important matters on your own to start with, at least until you have formed a baseline opinion on the matter, rather than during a brilliant “brainstorming session” in which you are currently side-tracked while you are forming thoughts in your own head (yes, you guessed it just right, you are side-tracked by the intuitive thinkers).

Now you have reflected on the different point of view offered by the other person, and next time you see him, you either you let him know that he proved you wrong, or an additional confrontation on the matter is best avoided (“the only one way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it” [5]). But, if for some reason the topic resurfaces again and you still think that your point of view makes more sense than the other, you just hold your ground. Respectfully, but you hold your ground. You reaffirm your point quickly, you let the other person reply, and then you cut that unpleasant interaction short and proceed with some well-calibrated playful teasing, and with you just being the funny dude you always are. People love you for that very simple reason: you kill the negativity, and you fill the air with your positive energy instead.

In conclusion, yes, you are allowed to think that your point of view is better. And you must do that actually, until proven wrong, because otherwise you will end up being like that spineless colleague of mine, and you know what? I start to sympathise with women, I start detesting mediocrity and low-confidence behaviour myself too. More on that to come.

If when you hold your ground the other person gets offended, well, there is a part within them which looks just like the crying little boy above. And when someone has a crying little boy within them, then that person is absolutely not suitable for daygame, not just yet, since in terms of barrier to entry daygame is as tough as it gets. You are going completely against social conditioning in daygame, and you need to grow a thick skin to do that. And by the way, I’m not even talking about “exploring the corners of the daygame envelope”, I’m “just” talking about “simple” daygame scenarios. Sure, as long as you keep going on with visualization and all that, daygame is no big deal, but then guess what? It’s 10am on Saturday morning, you see a cute girl at the supermarket and you go approach her. Stone sober, your friends are not there, you are surrounded by people that could hear your conversation, the light is as bright as it gets, you are on stage. And in those conditions, you proceed to approach the girl, and the implicit message during the conversation is that you will want to see her again and try to sleep with her. Because, just so you know, the fact that you will try to sleep with her her is implied. It must be implied, otherwise you will end up in with a Nice Guy stamp on you. And guess what then? It will be game over.

To do daygame you need to grow a thick skin, otherwise at the first rejection you will start rationalising backwards that “AWALT” and all that nonsense [6]. And you will write a post on the forum on how that “bitch” rejected and all that. No dude, it’s just that you were uncalibrated and you creeped her out. No big deal, as long as you take that little failure as feedback and as an opportunity to grow and learn, rather than just running to hide behind an acronym.

Having said all that, now this disclaimer is in place. If you are a cool guy who has his shit together and you don’t agree with something I said, just drop a comment and we’ll take it from there. If you are a little boy whose sand castle has just been destroyed by a wave, I suggest you hold off before going into daygame, you are not ready as of yet, since otherwise the risk of you running to hide behind an acronym is damn high. And just to spoiler my future post on Vibe a little bit, 80% of your perceived confidence comes from who you really are, and only the remaining 20% from all the “alpha” gestures and all that. But we will cover that in due time. And if you fall in this second category, you can start working on you as of now. Instead of leaving all angry and upset right away, and delete your browser history so that all possible connections between you and this “stupid blog” disappear from this earth once and for all, well, before you do that, man up and write in the comment section why you disagree with me, then you can go on and delete all history from your browser and forget about this “stupid blog”. That was the first step of you covering the 80% of your internal confidence.

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All right :) And this is it for today!

Reader: but could you not have just said this final part straight away, without writing 2000 words first on Ego, internal validation, Red Pill and stuff?

Me: “damn it…these readers are way too challenging…”

Emoji LOL.jpeg

 

Notes:
[1] “while I was writing the guide on Looks” this sentence is getting old, I know…

[2] Funny how one of the people I was referring to in the first paragraph (the low-confidence self-doubt people you need to handle with extra care otherwise they crumble under pressure), funny how one of them just yesterday told me that he couldn’t go run the half marathon he’s been training for, since “he fell sick and really couldn’t do it”. Yeah…too bad he was showing pacifiers all over the place, and he was looking just a tiny bit away as he was saying it…too bad he was talking to someone who knows what exactly all that means lol.

[3] The “main post” at the moment is the guide on Looks, and you should really know it already, considering that it has been three posts now that I’ve started with “while I was writing the guide on Looks” ;)

[4] Sorry bro, but in that sentence, I’m not going back and break down the sub-sentences like I always do. I thought it like that, I wrote like that, it stays like that :)

[5] “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, Dale Carnegie, 1936. Highly recommended book.

[6] “AWALT” is still way better than modern feminism, SJW, Nice Guys, and our ever more politically correct and feminised society…brrrr. Respect for the Red Pill guys, we are on the same side of this battle, it’s just that you are an army and I am a freelancer.

The Essentials:
• Fundamentals
Game

 

2 thoughts on “I’m not taking a shot at you”

  1. Dude you seriously talk in circles. I liked your social calibration post but only got halfway through this before I had to call it quits

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    1. Hi there, thanks for your feedback.

      Posts like this one are just me rambling on several things somehow related to a certain topic. Most of the posts in the “Out of the Matrix” section (Life) are like this, and a few more will be published eventually.

      Posts in the “Building your Aura” section (Fundamentals) are much more structured, with a lot of actionable recommendations and some general reflections on the topic, where relevant. The post on Social Calibration you referred to belongs to this section.

      Posts in the “Using your Aura” section (Game) will contain only practical Game advice and relevant considerations, and the “Diary” section will contain some of my adventures.

      FYI, in the menu you can find the general index with all posts, and the index of each section with the relevant posts in that category.

      Cheers :)

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