My “secret” Nightgame openers

Two for the venues, one for the street

You have just entered a not-so-big cocktail bar. The lights are low, some catchy music is playing in the background, and there is a good vibe overall. Some people are standing up, sipping their drinks while talking to their friends, some are gathered around the high tables spread throughout the venue, and some more are sitting down on the sofas next to the walls. A few people are dancing on one side, but this is not the place where people go to dance the night away, it’s more like the place where the music is not too loud and people spend the night talking and laughing with their friends.

The place is not big at all, maybe there are 100 people there. And even if the lights are low, it’s nothing like a nightclub: you can clearly see everyone there, everyone there can clearly see you.

There are quite a lot of girls only groups, most of which are made of two or three girls. In a few of those groups the girls seem to be in a good mood, in some others they seem to be having a neutral conversation, in some more they look bored and unimpressed AF, and in others they clearly entitled, and seem to be waiting for the male attention they need to put themselves on a pedestal.

You calmly walk through the venue as if you were going somewhere specific, and you “casually” pass by a group of three girls standing around a high table next to a column. Those three girls seem to be not only sweet and feminine, but in a particularly good mood as well. You are alone, there are three of them, but you still have the impression that they may react warmly to your approach. If only you knew what to say to them…

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There are mainly two lines of thinking when it comes to “what to say to girls.” On one side, some guys will tell that what you say to girls is irrelevant, and that the only thing which matters is your sub-communication. On the other side, some different guys just don’t know what to say to girls on the approach, and they think that if only they knew what to say, most of the work would be done, and they would smoothly proceed to a successful seduction.

Fact is, sub-communication is important, and greatly so, but what you actually say still has its fair share of importance. Magic pick-up lines don’t exist in the real world, but it’s important to steer clear of openers which are uncalibrated, needy, desperate, boring, and creepy. If your opener doesn’t fall into any of those categories, then what you say itself is not that important. That “if” is quite big though.

Conversely, you absolutely need to come up with something to say to approach girls if you want to make any progress in escalating things with them, since most girls just won’t do the approach for you. Some will, a clear minority, and in note [1] we’ll see what it looked like for me.

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Back to our openers. You enter the venue described at the beginning, and you “casually” pass by a group of three girls standing around a high table next to a column. This girl is one of the three girls, and the other two seem equally sweet and feminine.

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Nothing is easy in seduction, but this case is as “easy” as it gets in a cocktail bar: three sweet girls in a positive mood in a place where people are fairly relaxed (most girls are going to be in a much more neutral state). They have not seen you, but you figure they will not react bitchy to your approach. So, how do you open that group of girls?

Here are the openers I was successfully using in venues like cocktail bars, lounges, pubs, etc.

My go-to nightgame venue openers

Hi, are you here to celebrate a birthday? :)

Hi, is this your favourite bar in town? :)

Simple as that, and they have worked wonders for me. Fact is, the opener itself is not something you leverage to generate attraction, not at all. It’s not something magical that makes girls so aroused that the only thing they can do after hearing it is grabbring you by the hand and bring you to the toilets to have some quick sex. Absolutely not. Rather, the opener is something you leverage to make a transition happen: you transition into a conversation with a group of girls you didn’t know before, effortlessly and nonchalantly.

Those two openers have worked successfully for me in several countries in Europe and in Moscow as well. They are “international” if you wish. They are just a casual way to strike up a conversation with some girls who happen to be in the same venue. And actually, you cannot get rejected when using them, since you are not directly approaching girls, you are just a sociable guy who is striking up a few casual conversations here and there (what’s really going on though is you testing the girls in the venue for receptiveness).

In a loud high-energy nightclub those openers may or may not work, I’ve not tried them there, since I don’t really go to those places. But in cocktail bars, wine bars, lounge, pubs, etc, they are extremely affective. You see a group of girls who seem potentially receptive to you, you effortlessly position yourself next to them, and you open them with one of the two. Those girls were complete strangers to you before, and now you are in a conversation with them. Yeah.

The first opener (the birthday one) is my favourite one, and at least 95% of the girls will reply “no” to that question. But that’s irrelevant, since now you are in a conversation with them and just go with the flow, leveraging you Social Calibration.

The second opener makes girls think a bit, and most of the time the answer I got was either “no” or “I don’t really have a favourite place in town” (indecisiveness in full effect). Still, I could see they were actively thinking about the question, which is good, because while they were busy doing so, they were not rejecting me in autopilot mode instead. I used this one mainly with girls who were dressed too casually to be out celebrating something. Again, after the opener Social Calibration is king.

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Forging ahead with Social Calibration

It’s important to deliver the opener in a relaxed and positive way, with a chill smile on your face rather than with a “mysterious” James Bond look: this is the real life after all, and girls are going to react much better to a stranger approaching them with a relaxed and positive vibe, rather than with a “mysterious” (aka serial killer) vibe.

The opener you choose will break the ice with that group of girls. Assuming your Social Calibration is on point, what happens next depends entirely on things like their sexual availability and their reciprocal social pressure on one side, whether they find you attractive on the other side. The first two aspects are completely out of your control. Instead, when it comes to your initial attractiveness as perceived by them, you leverage your odds by making sure your Fundamentals are sharp enough.

One thing where you have full control on is which groups of girls to approach. With enough practice and reference memories, you will have a pretty good idea of which groups are going to welcome you in a non-bitchy and non-dismissive way. But even after a lot of practice, you may still encounter a few “false positives,” meaning girls you though were going to be ok with you approaching them in a calibrated way, but they reacted in an entitled and dismissive way instead. That’s fine, you leave those entitled bitches to their own misery, and move on to another group, after a taking a short pause just not to appear as desperate.

In the vast majority of cases, girls are going to welcome you at least politely if not warmly, even if they are not sexually available and not interested in getting to know you better. If you were welcomed in an acceptable way, but you understand that the light for further escalation is red, you stay there a short while, and this can be just 30 seconds, and then wish them well and move on. In this way, nobody can think you were shot down straight off the bat (as a matter of fact you weren’t), and you don’t create negative momentum in the eyes of other people there. Actually, you create positive momentum, since you stroke up a casual conversation with some girls who reacted fairly well to your approach, then you made some quick and fun small talk, and finally you left on a high note, signalling to everyone else in the venue that you are not a social burden. You are just a cool guy being sociable on a night out, and giving girls opportunities to be talking with him. This is the right mindset.

After you have identified some girls you want talk to, it’s important not to wait too long before approaching them. Actually, you need to approach them as soon as practically possible while still making your approach appear as effortless. Not so quick that you are perceived as uncalibrated or to be chasing them already. But not so slow that eventually it feels awkward for both you and the girls when you finally open them. The longer you wait to approach them, the more awkward it will feel. The longer you wait to approach them, the easier it will be for excuses of why you should not approach them to pop up in your mind. Instead, you see some girls who seem receptive, you nonchalantly position yourself next to them, or nonchalantly walk towards them, and open them.

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Say you are going to the first venue of the night, or you are changing venue as part of the Nightgame Quick Turnaround Method. You are out in the street, and you see a group of two girls walking towards you or in the same direction as you. You are not even sure whether they have seen you or not. Still, they seem either sweet and bubbly, or at the very least sweet and neutral. Stay away from the entitled attention seeking women, the infamous “attention whores,” since those are going to shoot you down straight away to give their fragile ego a little boost. Back to the girls who look sweet or at least sweet enough. You see them, and you have the feeling they may react well you your street approach. What do you say? Here’s what I used to say.

My go-to nightgame street opener

Hi, are you girls going to do something interesting tonight? :)

Simple as that. Some are going to react very pleased from the get go, and you will start an engaging conversation there and then, before moving to some venue together (happened to me a few times, as we will see when I start writing on some of my nightgame adventures). Some others are going to react sweetly, and they will invite you to come along wherever they are going (first-hand experience here too). Others are going to react positively but without any special interest, and even if those interactions are usually going to lead nowhere, they are going to reinforce your internal awareness that interacting with girls is not a big deal if you know what you are doing. Some others are going to react a bit defensively to start with, not because they are entitled, but actually because they are a bit timid, possibly under some reciprocal social pressure, and they didn’t see it coming: up to you to properly steer the situation there. And finally, some others are going to give you a dismissive look and keep going without stopping. Those “false positives” are a clear minority, since you weren’t approaching the entitled-looking girls in the first place. As far as I’m concerned, those latter witches are very welcome to keep going and Foxtrot Oscar, since I don’t have neither the time nor the willingness to waste my time talking to girls with such a shitty attitude.

Once again, after stopping the girls and delivering the opener, is all about improvisation and Social Calibration. This is a constant in Game: you may have a rough top-level model to follow during your interactions, but you also go with the flow and adapt to each situation individually, rather than reading out loud the same mental script during every interaction.

There is also something important to keep in mind with regard to this nightgame street opener: it creeps out girls who are walking somewhere on their own, since they see that sentence as a straight invitation for sex, and it looks especially creepy at night. And this is not a “theory” of mine, I actually tested it with a few girls who were walking somewhere alone, and drew some conclusions based on the pretty similar reaction they were all having.

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And this is it guys. Those were my field-tested go-to openers which I was successfully using when I was still doing nightgame.

Inside a cocktail bar, a lounge, a pub, and similar:

Hi, are you here to celebrate a birthday? :)

Hi, is this your favourite bar in town? :)

Just remember to deliver them as soon as practically possible while still making your approach appear as effortless, and to have a chill and positive vibe to start with.

Out in the street:

Hi, are you girls going to do something interesting tonight? :)

This one as well is to be delivered with a chill and positive vibe to start with.

Needless to say, in both cases, by maximising your Fundamentals you will increase the chances of having a warm/interested initial reaction.

And this is it for today, now it’s time for you to go out practice those openers of mine. They are no longer “secret” I guess…

Emoji LOL

Note:
[1] In my four months of nightgame activity back in 2017, the only two times I was opened by a sweet and feminine girl was while she was walking by me with their girlfriends. And after she casually opened me, both times she kept going with their friends, and that group positioned itself somewhere else not that far away from me, making it clear that it was up to me to re-engage if I was interested. Fair enough. Another girl came to open me very decisively, and invited me to join her little group of friends, one other girl and one guy. She exhibited a masculine decisive attitude in the process, and I didn’t like neither her looks nor her attitude. When I wished those three people a good evening and went away not long after I joined them, she went to the doorman and got me banned from the club with a false accusation. I sorted it out eventually, but still. Guys, don’t rely on girls to do the approach for you, you need to do that. And it’s actually quite empowering, since you are the one who calls the shots there.

Related Posts:
• Nightgame “Quick Turnaround” Method
• Nightgame venue selection
• Common mistakes in Nightgame

The Essentials:
• Fundamentals
Game