Nightgame venue selection

When I went back into nightgame, the first month or so I kept going always to the same place, and I was staying there all night. That place looked similar to the ones I used to frequent when I was single a few years earlier, the only difference being that at the time I was going out with my cool group of friends, and now I had just arrived alone in a different country.

After a while I got completely bored of that place, since people were clearly stuck-up in there, and I made it a personal rule of mine to explore as many places as possible in the city. Around that time I also started using the Nightgame Quick Turnaround Method, and that proved to be more entertaining and more efficient than spending the entire night in one place only.

I was usually trying each new place at least twice before drawing a conclusion on it, and as I was switching from one place to the other during the night, I was quickly making a note on each one in very simple format on my phone. I’m looking at that file right now. There is an initial list under “Tue-Wed” and then another list under “Thu-Sat”. Each place is scored as — / – / = / + / ++ and then there is a very simple comment. I didn’t assign “++” to any place, I can only see one “+” and one “=”, then all other places were assigned either a “-” or a “–”. No wonder I wrote nightgame off back then!!

I’m pretty familiar with nightlife in the UK, in two other European countries and in Russia as well. And based on my own experiences, the local social conditioning is very strong in nightgame, much more compared to daygame, where the reactions you get are fairly consistent everywhere you go. Hence, for some venues I’m going to discuss just below, the dynamics are likely to change slightly based on where you live. For others, I’ve seen the very same trend everywhere I’ve been.

Three rules of thumb before we get started:

● The smaller the venue, the higher the social pressure on the girls.

● The bigger the size of the bar compared to the overall size of the venue, the higher the social pressure on you.

● The louder the venue, the smaller the chances of you leveraging your real value and your cool vibe.

Having said that, those are the night venues I’m familiar with.

Early-evenings bars

The early-evening bars are packed by 9PM and then close at 1AM. There is some music in the background, but absolutely nobody is dancing. People are not as well dressed as in the bars, but not as casually dressed as in the pubs either.

Striking up casual conversations in is not difficult in the early-evening bars, but nevertheless you still need to be outgoing and a bit cheeky, especially at the beginning of the evening when the lights are not that low. What I’ve noticed, and this is a constant in all venues, is that social conditioning is much higher in the outdoors area compared to the indoors area, simply because everyone is much more on display out there (i.e. broader lights, no music, etc).

The main problem with early-evening bars is that they tend to be small, and as such there are only so many approaches you can do before appearing as a desperate guy who hits on each and every girl. In such small places, another problem is that it doesn’t feel right to play the James Bond role for too long, casually chilling alone at the bar or in a corner. Hence, back in the day, I used to enter the venue, strike up one maximum two conversations fairly quickly, and then go. The atmosphere is fairly relaxed in the early-evening bars, and girls there tend to be not as bitchy as they are in some other venues, simply because the screening is done by the venue itself. Girls may react a bit defensively to your casual conversation due to social pressure, but not bitchy.

If you like to talk with girls rather than dance with them, these places are ideal. It would be also ideal to go with another cool or at the very least switched-on guy, since in that way you can spend more time between approaches without looking out of place. And the longer you casually stay in there, the more casual conversations you can strike up.

Early-evening bars are ideal as the first step of the Quick Turnaround Method.

Pubs

The vibe in the pubs is welcoming, and people are friendlier and more relaxed compared to all the other venues. If you enter a pub and people look stuck-up, then you have entered a place which retains only the architecture of a real pub, not the original mood.

Especially in continental Europe, most of the pubs are full of Nice Guys, with a minority of them full of “authentic lads” instead. To be honest with you, I’m not comfortable in any of those two environments, and as such I tend not to frequent the pubs. Here where I live, going to a pub would be the obvious choice to try and counterbalance the rigid social conditioning a bit, but pubs are just not my cup of tea.

Classy Bars

Groups go to classy bars to have a “cool” dinner in a fancy environment, rather than going for a proper dinner in a real restaurant, and as such there is nothing interesting for you in there up to until 10:30PM (just some minimum movement around the bar). Around 11PM, the typical classy bar transforms itself into a proper cocktail bar, which is packed until it closes at 2AM or 3AM. In some of the classy bars, the dinner part is not present at all, hence they are mainly empty until around 10PM.

Classy bars usually have two different floors, and I really like those places: the environment is classy but not posh, people tend be well dressed but without overdoing it, the music playing in the background is catchy but not too loud, the lights are a bit flashy but not stroboscopic, and, most importantly, people don’t go in there to dance the night away.

These places are ideal to use one of my nightgame venue openers, since you can actually talk to the girls rather than shouting at them.

Different classy bars will have a somewhat different mood. At one extreme there are places with more outgoing people and a fun vibe overall. You may still go home empty-handed after spending the night in there, but at least you interacted with some friendly girls and it was a pleasant night (ideally you take at least one solid phone number before going). Needless to say, my “favourite” place in town (the less worst really) belongs to this category.

Somewhere in the middle there are places with a mildly sad vibe to them. People in there look bored and unimpressed, somewhat frustrated about life, and this is a clear consequence of an age where people no longer know how to have fun. People are mainly static, standing up without doing much while looking in the distance, then scanning around, then scanning other people from toe to head just to do some window shopping, then dancing for a bit pretending to have fun, you get the idea. Complete boredom. I spent my first full month of nightgame is a place just like this, and as you can imagine, I wrote it off and never went back.

At the other extreme there are places infested by Try-Hards, and as such there is entitlement and fakeness all over. Needless to say, the overall vibe is sad and pretentious as a result. As a lone nightgamer, your chances are pretty much nil places like this, since people go there to show off their “high status” (sure), and getting approached by a stranger is just a concept which doesn’t go down very well with the over-compensating girls in there. Avoid at all costs.

Table Bars

These places proved to be very hostile to me. In a typical table bar, most of the venue is full of tables and people go there to have dinner with their friends. Contrary to the classy bar, which transform themselves into a proper cocktail bar around 11PM, in the table bars the switch never happens, and people tend to remain within their own group around their table. There is a small bar area but it’s pretty pointless to stay there, considering that people get a drink and then go back to their own group.

I tried two of these venues twice each, and from the moment I entered all the way during the few casual conversations I tried to strike up, I had the clear feeling of not being welcomed. Avoid at all costs, whether you are alone or with your wing man, since people go to table bars to remain all night with their own friends. Nightgamers not welcomed.

Alternative Bars

I’m not an alternative person myself, and the places I like the most are early-evening bars and classy bars. But still, at some point I realised the situation in the place where I was regularly going was so shit, that I decided to give the alternative bars a go. I was thinking that maybe they had a friendlier mood and more “open-minded” girls in there? The mood was surely friendlier, the “open-mindedness” of the girls was firmly anchored to the low Western levels though.

I tried two of these venues one time each. They had pretty much the same architecture: very small ground floor, with a small bar and a capacity of 20-30 people max, then bigger basement with loud music and low lights. Upstairs you realistically have one maximum two approaches only, especially at the beginning of the night when there are not so many people, since if you keep approaching you switch from being a cool sociable guy to being a desperate guy who hits on every girl. Downstairs I just didn’t like it, since people were smoking, the music was loud, a few men were eyeing me, and it was all about dancing rather than striking up some light conversations followed by some good teasing.

In the alternative bars people were friendly overall, and I managed to get one very solid phone number downstairs, plus one big “false positive” upstairs, but I felt like a fish out of water, hence I didn’t go again.

Disco Bars

These places can be a lot of fun if you are out with your friends, but inefficient AF if you are flying solo. Disco bars are not nightclubs, but rather they look half like a pub and half like a bar, and people dance like crazy in there.

One of my nights out, just after leaving an early-evening bar on my way to changing venue (Nightgame Quick Turnaround Method), I casually opened two girls who were passing by with my go-to nightgame street opener (see at the very bottom of that post). They were friendly and invited me to join them for the night. Sounded good. We walked say 200 metres to this Spanish disco bar, where we joined a group of roughly ten people in total. I was welcomed very well by all of them, and after some circumstantial conversation we entered inside. It was a blast: loud high-energy music, people dancing like crazy everywhere, including on the tables and on the sofas, bartenders pouring drinks directly in people’s mouth, you get the idea. I had a lot of fun that night, the ten of us were dancing in a circle, but social pressure was high everywhere, it was palpable. This is the kind of place where you would expect a few people making out as the night goes by, but nisba.

The solo nightgamer encounters high struggle in places like this, since here you interact with other people by dancing rather than talking, but considering that disco bars are fairly small and girls are there with their own friends, social pressure is very high as a result.

Snob Bars (i.e. “Static Display” Bars)

These places are bad everywhere in the world. People go there to show off their “high status” (sure) and there is an overall Try-Hard mood as a result. Entitlement is everywhere, and you can see a lot of bored Divas with their classical snob expression on their faces.

People are just in static exposition in the snob bars. I tried some of them, and both the people in there and the venues themselves looked just incredibly sad to me. As bad as it gets for picking up girls.

Lounges

Lounges are more for dates than for picking up girls, and the bar area is small and empty compared to the table and sofa areas where most of the couples and groups of friends are.

Going there solo is a bit lame, since there are not many opportunities to interact with other people.

Student bars

At some point I also tried the student district to see if things were better. One of the venues in there was the student equivalent of a disco bar, a real blast with people dancing all over, but strangely enough the lights were fully bright rather than low. I didn’t enter since there was a long queue of kids waiting to get in, plus it was clearly not an actionable situation. In that student district there were also two student “classy” bars, but believe it or now, they looked sadder than the ones populated by people in the 25-40 age range. I tried to strike up a few random conversations in those student “classy” bars, but it was clear that the student district wasn’t for me.

The main problem in student places is that you, as a more mature guy, must not be seen getting rejected or dismissed by much younger girls, otherwise your value crumbles to pieces and your figure is just incongruent. There may be a few young girls going to the grown-up classy bars and you are fine in that case, those young girls not reacting well to your approach is not a big deal, since in a grown-up classy bar you don’t look out of place to start with. But when you go out alone to in a student venue, where you look out of place to start with just based on your more mature image, you must not be seen getting rejected if you want to remain in there a bit longer without looking creepy.

Nightclubs

Nightclubs are what most guys think of when talking about nightgame. I used to go to nightclubs in my teen and early twenties, but right now they are absolutely not my cup of tea. Fact is, it’s very difficult to positively distinguish yourself in there.

The main problem is that most guys get a couple of drinks and then start hitting on every girl. Other guys are going for calibrated approaches instead, which is much better already, but overall nightclubs look like a zoo to me. In these places are very inefficient to differentiate yourself as a cool guy who has won approach anxiety and can interact with girls even without getting drunk first. Also, girls expect to be hit on all night, mostly by uncalibrated and drunk guys, and as such they are defensive by default. You can’t really talk, but rather you need to shout at girls. Nightclubs are absolutely not for me.

Megaclubs

Same as nightclubs, just much bigger and usually out of town. To add insult to injury, girls tend to have either free entry or very discounted price, while guys are charged a hefty price for entry. This thing on its own should give an indication of the “market forces” in there. Like the nightclubs, I would avoid at all costs, especially if you live in a more conservative country.

Other venue types

There are other venue types in addition to the above, like for instance karaoke bars, but I don’t have any direct experience there. Still, if you consider loud karaoke bars, it’s all about Nice Guy game in there. Lounges with a karaoke opportunity are very much different, but you need to be a good singer to leverage that factor to your advantage.

Conclusions

Let’s say you are a daygamer, rather than a hardcore nightgamer who loves dancing, and you want to replicate the same daygame strategy to nightgame. I’m talking about the ability to go talk to girls stone sober, to be comfortable in approaching girls without having the darkness as your best friend, and to leverage your conversation skills to move from the approach to some light conversation, then to some comfort on to some teasing and finally to a close (solid phone number or direct pull). If you fall in the above description, I would say early-evening bars and fun-vibe classy bars are your best bet to apply that strategy.

As long as you go to crammed loud venues (i.e. jungles), it will be very difficult for you to leverage your not-so-ordinary seduction skills, the main one being the ability to approach girls sober and smoothly. As such, in loud venues you lose the edge you have in daytime compared to the average night seducer. And let’s be realistic: girls go to nightclubs for a variety of reasons, ranging from getting some male attention to spending a fun night with their friends, but meeting a guy is just not the list for the majority of them. Sure, possibly there are some horny girls in nightclubs even in this day and age. And sure, a group of two not-so-attractive girls will start dancing next to you without fail. But overall, I really can’t be bothered by nightclubs. I don’t have fun in there, and they are just a frustrating place for guys who know how to approach girls sober and in broad daylight.

Hence, if you are at least somewhat comfortable with daygame, my recommendation to you is to go to early-evening bars and classy bars only. If you are not that comfortable with daygame yet, but would like to start differentiating yourself from the average nightlife seducers, the best thing you can do is going there and start talking with the girls casually. It will feel strange at first, but it will be a stepping stone towards getting good at daygame, considering that approaching in those venues is much more similar to situational daygame rather than standard nightclub game.

You can use one of my nightgame venue openers to strike up a few conversations in early-evening bars and classy bars, plus my nightgame street opener on your way there. And if you, like me, don’t particularly like nightlife, try using the Nightgame Quick Turnaround Method to get some solid phone numbers and meet up with the girl one-on-one at some future date. That method works, I can attest that.

Related Posts:
• My “secret” Nightgame openers
• Nightgame “Quick Turnaround” Method
• Common mistakes in nightgame

The Essentials:
• Fundamentals
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