Routine Circle Game is the ultimate test for your social calibration. And if you are wondering, I made up the name by myself to express a concept which I think doesn’t have an “official” definition in the community.
Let’s look at the spectrum of real-life social interactions between people who are not relatives. At one end of the spectrum there are groups of people who meet up on a recurring basis in an environment where they all formally belong (workplace, school class, etc). At other end of the spectrum there are single individuals who don’t know each other, and after having bumped once into each other for whatever reason, they are likely to never cross paths ever again. For the first scenario, I’m not in favour of escalating things there (especially at work). For the second scenario, this is where most of the nightgame and daygame activity happens, or doesn’t happen, leaving the guy thinking “I should have approached her…” since he’s knows he’s unlikely to see her ever again (if you live in a fairly big city, think of people you meet in a cocktail bar during one night out, or people you cross paths with in the high street during one day – you will probably never see them again).
The two cases above are fairly extreme: people you are “stuck with” on a daily basis, like it or not, and people you bump into once and only once in all your life. Somewhere in the middle there are groups of friends, known as Social Circles. When you meet up with your friends, the primary reason for doing so is to hang out together or to do an activity together (playing football, watching a movie, hitting on girls, etc).
Then, as part of the activities you routinely perform during your typical week or your typical month, there are some people you interact with, and some other people who just happen to be in the very same location as you:
● Other members of the gym
● Other members of the club
● Other users of the library
● Staff of the gym
● Staff of the club
● Staff of the library
● Staff of the grocery store
● Staff of the bakery
● Staff of the express supermarket
● Staff of the clothes shop
● Staff of the pharmacy
The above groups of people can be split in three categories:
A. Users of a venue which you routinely frequent (gym, club, library, etc)
B. Staff of the above venue
C. Staff of customer-facing shops you routinely buy things from (groceries, etc)
These people, which you routinely see and/or interact with as you perform your weekly or monthly routine activities, is what I refer to as your Routine Circle. Contrary to what happens with your groups of friends (your Social Circles), the primary reason you and the people in your Routine Circle happen to be in the same venue is not to socialise together:
Group A: if you take the gym as an example, each member goes there primarily to train
Group B: if you take the gym as an example, the staff is there primarily to work
Group C: if you take the grocery shop as an example, you primarily go there to buy groceries, and the staff is there primarily to work
Looking at things from a different perspective, when you go to one of your regular venues (gym, grocery shop, library, etc), you have not agreed in advance to meet up with any of the people there. And as such, sometimes you meet the girl(s) you are interested in there, other times you don’t. For instance, girls at the gym may skip a workout or go there at random days of the week, the staff at the gym and in the shops usually rotates during the week, etc. As a result, when you go to one of those venues you are not guaranteed to meet the girl(s) you are interested in, and this is just another variable to spice things up.
Gaming girls in your Routine Circle is what I refer to as Routine Circle Game. The ultimate test for your social calibration indeed, since a deep understanding of social dynamics is required to pull it off smoothly over the entire “escalation cycle” (another term which I just made up). Fact is, both after a successful or a rejected escalation, you and the girl(s) are going to keep bumping into each other in there, and it surely takes some finesse to make sure that:
i) you are still comfortable in frequenting that venue;
ii) your reputation remains intact in other people’s eyes (nobody wants to be labelled a creep);
iii) the situation is not awkward for the girl(s) you escalated things with;
iv) the situation is not awkward for the people who know about your escalation(s).
Point i) you have full control on. Point ii) and iv) you have almost full control on, and here the thing to remember is that things are only awkward in the measure you consider them to be so. Hence, if you are truly convinced that something is not a big deal, your actions and your body language will instil the same feeling into the other people around you. Point iii) is the most difficult one, especially with the girls that get burned since they wanted a deeper commitment from you and now they feel bad about the entire experience. As bad as it sounds, point iii) is the least important of the four, but you still have a moral responsibility not to hurt sweet girls and not to make them suffer as a result of your actions, hence it’s something you need to keep in mind.
It may all seem very theorical for now, but this is all based on first-hand experience, and I will cover Routine Circle Game extensively in my next posts.
This summer I went through the entire “escalation cycle” with six girls in my Routine Circle:
● Two girls were gym members;
● One girl was part of the staff at the gym;
● One girl was sales assistant at the groceries store next to my apartment;
● One girl was sales assistant at the express supermarket next to my apartment;
● One girl was sales assistant at one clothes shop in the city centre.
Not going to spoil anything for now, but time permitting I will write a detailed report on each of them.
To complete the conversation on the comparison between different types of Game, let’s look at how Routine Circle Game scores across the key parameters.
Barrier to initial approach: low
Extremely low with the girls who are part of the staff: by default you will acknowledge each other to start with, then you will move to a slightly longer conversation just by asking a question on something related to that specific environment (plausible question without any obvious secondary aim), etc.
A bit more difficult with the girls who are there in the same function as you are, such as members of the gym, users of the library, etc. But still, if your social calibration is on point, you will be able to ping them with a plausible excuse one day, and move things forward over time if they seem receptive. Stay tuned for more details.
Difficulty in establishing a mutual conversation: low
Girls who are part of the staff will naturally interact with you, especially since you will break the ice with something related to that specific environments, hence it will be just a “normal” work conversation for them (but now you have broken the ice and moved beyond standard “good morning” / “goodbye” interactions, excellent).
Girls who are there in the same function as you will “need” to react at least politely if you break the ice with a plausible excuse, since otherwise it will look extremely rude of them. It will be up to you to make sure that their initial reaction goes beyond the minimum which is required by social etiquette, since the end objective is not breaking the ice on itself, but is rather breaking the ice to then move things forward little by little.
Difficulty in escalating: high
This is where things get interesting, since you will be completely beyond of what is conventionally done by most guys, especially when approaching the staff. Social conditioning will tell you not to approach a girl while she’s working, and as a matter of fact you will not be approaching her. Rather, over time you will create a climax of emotions at the end of which it will be only natural for you to ask her out, and it literarily “just happened!”
Possible reputational risk: high
You need to make sure you remain socially calibrated all the way through, in order to limit any possible awkwardness for you, for the girl, and for other people around after both a successful or a rejected escalation. Worst case scenario you will just stop going to the gym/grocery shop/etc. where the girl works or regularly goes, but that will be a failure, since the end result will be sub-optimal for you (you decided to go to that gym since it’s the best for you, you usually go to that grocery shop since it’s the most convenient for you, etc). Hence, contrary to a workplace situation, here there is an emergency button you can pull and EJECT. But the objective is making sure you don’t need to press that button.
Just to make this crystal clear, the immediate workplace is not Routine Circle Game, since that eject button is not immediately available there, and there may be some more serious/awkward repercussions on you. I tease girls in my immediate workplace quite a lot, I have a lot of fun with them, but I would never consider approaching one of them as long as we are in the same immediate workplace (same team, same department, stakeholders I interact with regularly, stakeholders I interact with occasionally, etc).
A girl in a different and unrelated organisation within the same company could be ok for you to approach, and I’ve done that successfully in the past, but that’s not Routine Circle Game either.
Turnover of girls: low
Last summer I escalated things with all the girls I was interested in within my Routine Circle at the time. Since then there has been some turnover, but very low. One new girl appeared as sales assistant at the groceries shop, but I’m not that attracted to her. Two new girls appeared as sales assistant at the express supermarket, but I’m not attracted to them at all. Two new groups of two girls appeared at the gym, and I started going through the 1-2-3 Method with them.
Overall, turnover of girls in your Routine Circle is a bit higher compared to your immediate Social Circles, but much lower compared to any other type of Game.
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This was the initial introduction to Routine Circle Game. It’s my favourite type of game, since you can warm up girls little by little without rushing things, and along the way you can develop a human connection with the girls, which is important to me.
Another thing which I really like about Routine Circle Game is that such a small minority of guys actually do it, that you will positively distinguish yourself big time once you can pull it off in smoothly.
When I launched this blog, I started to do some reverse engineering on my style of game in order to share my modus operandi with you guys. And I did a lot of reverse engineering on Routine Circle Game, since I’m particularly proud of it, and it seems to be something not overly discussed in the community (as a matter of fact, I have never read anything about it online, but it’s also true that I don’t do a lot of reading).
In the next two posts I will cover the two essential concepts underpinning Routine Circle Game:
The first post will be theoretical, and it will focus on interpersonal dynamics. I will cover things which in order to work will need to be fully internalised, since just being consciously aware of them is not enough.
The second post will cover my signature method, something I’m particularly proud of. During the reverse-engineering process I realised that I kept using the same structure time and time again when interacting with girls in my Routine Circle, and in more Situational instances as well. That structure is literarily made of three stages, and hence the name.
And by the way, the two names above are TM, of course.
This is all for today guys, stay tuned for the detailed follow-up posts.
• Comparing different types of Game