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I arrived the gym one day last June, and noticed there were two new girls working as part of the reception staff.
One of them was very young, early twenties I’d say. What I instantly liked of her was her cute and sweet face, her brown long hair with blonde streaks, her conservative “good-girl” fashion style, and most importantly her sweet and feminine demeanour. On the other hand, I didn’t like her body very much, since her legs were big and toned, just the opposite of what I like. I thought she must have been one of those girls into body building and lifting heavy weights. First time she saw me, her eyes were wide open and she looked almost hypnotised. So sweet, so young, so inexperienced…
The other girl was slightly older, between 25 and 30 I’d say. Her face was very sweet and so was her general demeanour, “a bit” in contrast with her long red hair, which possibly wanted to signal something else. She was dressed like a girl who likes to be admired and to be chased, but without overdoing it. Somewhere in the middle between a conservatively dressed Sweet Girl and a provocatively dressed attention whore. You could say she was dressed just like a Diva, and just like a Diva she seemed to have had a bath in her favourite fragrance before leaving the house in the morning. She was surely more experienced than the other girl, and I could see she wanted to behave indifferently and nonchalantly towards me, she wanted to play it cool. But her vibe was slightly perturbed when I was around, and this is a clear Indicator of Attraction. Had she been a full-blown Diva, she would have had a snobbish and stuck-up reaction when we first met, just like her histrionic colleague did in that very location a few months before. But this girl was not a full-blown Diva, she was half Diva and half Sweet Girl. You could tell she wanted me to chase her a little bit and make her feel special, but there was not a hint of entitlement nor snobbishness in her. Let’s call her an Overcompensating Sweet Girl, since she was sweet indeed at her core, but lacked the submissiveness typical of a real Sweet Girl, and she attempted to play games at times.
Long story short, both of them seemed to be attracted to me, but I was not particularly attracted to any of them. Anyway, since I like to keep a favourable position in terms of the Law of Equilibrium of Interests with all girls, whether I like them or not, I greeted them with a not-so-eager facial expression. I like to ignore girls completely the first few times I see them in my Routine Circle, but with the staff I cannot do that. Hence, I just remain indifferent and unimpressed to start with, becoming a living example of the Law of Equilibrium of Interests and its corollary in action.
Law of Equilibrium of Interests
When you and a girl happen to be in the same environment over a period of time, the interest you have shown from the distance when the two of you were not directly interacting must be less than the interest she has shown.
Corollary (specific to staff members)
If the girl is part of the staff, your facial expression towards her must be completely neutral for at least the entire first day.
In the following days, when I arrived at the gym and those two girls where the only staff members present in the reception area, I would greet them cordially but coldly. When other staff members were present as well, I would say “hello” with my usual cool and relaxed smile, while making eye contact with as many of the staff members as possible (Eye-Contact Greeting Loop), but proactively ignoring the two girls. The other staff members were already at the stage where I was warm towards them, and those two new girls were not there yet.
The young blond girl was already fully invested from the very beginning, not afraid to show the fact that she liked me very much. The other girl was warming up little by little, but was very conscious not to show too much interest. Anyhow, I eventually started to include them in the Eye-Contact Greeting Loop, and I started to greet them more warmly when they were on their own.
To be more precise, I become much warmer with the young blonde girl, since she was sweet, feminine, and she was clearly showing me how valuable she considered me to be.
With the other girl I became just a bit warmer, since I could instinctively feel she was into mind games. A big bonus for her was that she never showed any hint of the Dealbreaker Triangle (entitlement, bitchiness, snobbishness). But still, you could tell she was forcing herself to remain serious upon seeing me, waiting for me to smile at her first. And you could tell that at times she pretended not to have seen me as I was entering the gym, hoping for me to call her by her name and greet her. Too bad for her, I never complied with any of her requests to work harder for her. The situation would have been different had she been a shy Sweet Girl who was clearly intimidated by my presence, but the behaviour of the redhead was surely closer to the behaviour of a Diva than to the behaviour of an authentic Sweet Girl. As such, I decided that things between me and her were not going beyond that lukewarm cordial greeting.
With the young blonde girl instead, the situation was very different. I wanted to feel more of her sweet feminine energy, and I progressively became warmer towards her. On day, as I was leaving the gym, both of them were at the reception. The redhead was on the phone, and I took the opportunity to talk directly to the blonde girl one-to-one.
So, you a new member of the staff.
Yes, I’ve just started and so has my colleague here next to me :)
Deep conversation so far…
My name is […]
She actually forgot to mention her name back, hence I went like:
What’s your name?
Ah yes, I’m […]
[…] ?? There is a similar name in my home country!!
<burst of joy>
I left on that high note, and during the following days we had some more of those “meaningful” conversations. And every single time she behaved like a sweet little girl in front of her crush. She was so cute… Every time I arrived at the gym, she had a little burst of joy and her eyes were wide open. Most of the time I talked to her directly, she could barely resist giggling. Her legs were still much stronger than I like them to be, but she was so adorable…
One day she was training in the weight room, and by pure coincidence I positioned myself next to her to do pull-ups. She attempted to do one pull-up and she almost managed to do so, looking proud afterwards. Then she did a deadlift set with “heavy” weights, looking proud afterwards. You could tell she was trying to impress me with her “strength”, too bad the effect all of this was having on me was just the opposite of what she was hoping for. Fact is, I like girls to be girly, harmonious, sweet, submissive, and these traits have nothing to do with body building. This girl was so feminine and so sweet most of the time, but with that element of masculinity within her… surely a niche, but one I’m not attracted to.
All right, so I wasn’t attracted to her, but still. She was so sweet and so feminine, her eyes were so wide every time she saw me, when I asked her a question she had little bursts of joy which were so cute… She wasn’t afraid to show how much she liked me, and I decided to reward her and invite her for a walk. I wasn’t planning to make a move on her, since if I managed to undress her my body language may have betrayed the fact that I didn’t like her physique, and she may have taken it very badly, since I’m sure her physique was something she was proud of. But even if I wasn’t going to escalate things with her, I decided she deserved a walk with me and some special tease from me, just so that she could know I appreciated her.
Having decided what I was going to do, it was only a matter of waiting for the right moment, since my delivery had to be calibrated, taking into account things like the social pressure on her from her colleagues and from other gym members. I had identified two different possibilities to smoothly invite her for a walk.
The easiest option was to talk with her while she was walking through the gym on her own. She would have been alone, and there wouldn’t have been many gym members training at that time of the day. I would have made my offer, taken her number, and kept training like nothing had happened: excellent plan. The other option was catching her alone in the reception area, but this was a little more difficult to execute, since there were usually other staff members there, plus other gym members going in and out. I would have had no issue whatsoever in asking her out in front of everybody, but doing so would have put her in a difficult and embarrassing position, and most likely she would have proceeded to reject me so as not to appear as being picked up by someone in front of her colleagues.
One day I arrived at the gym, and saw her at the reception area with only one other colleague of hers. The gym was quiet, since it was the early afternoon. I was warming up on the bicycle before doing the lower body workout, and from where I was I could see the reception area. At some point the other colleague passed by me and disappeared somewhere in the gym, leaving her alone at the entrance. Now I had a clean shot. I jumped off the bicycle, and casually walked towards her.
I positioned myself next to her, in such a way that I could keep an eye on the entrance as well, and just said:
I would like to invite you for a walk.
I was ready to cash in a burst of joy and an immediate agreement to my proposal, but I had a very different reaction. She looked at me with a concerned “are you out of your mind” expression, and I got the feeling she was clearly not expecting that.
As a matter of fact she was unable to speak, and she didn’t actually say anything back to me. Based on her body language it was a rejection, but since she was unable to speak, I went like:
Look, if you have someone it’s no big deal, since I have someone as well. It’s just a friendly walk.
She was still unable to speak, but she made a sound which was the equivalent of “no”.
I was angry. Really angry. I had to convince myself to invite this girl out for a walk, since I wasn’t particularly attracted to her but I wanted to reward her for her sweetness and her femininity, and look at the reaction I got back. Seriously guys, you try to do a girl a favour and she behaves like that, what the fuck.
I dismissed her, and turned around to go back into the weight room. To my surprise, that’s when I saw that the staff member from the evening shift had already arrived. He was behind the reception desk, and surely had heard the entire conversation. I thought it was only me and the girl there, but as a matter of fact we had a spectator who I hadn’t realised was there. Oh shit.
As I was walking back into the weight room, I realised the reason she may have reacted so poorly was exactly because of that spectator. She was aware of him, but I wasn’t. Based on her reaction, she wasn’t going to accept anyway, but possibly she may have been a bit kinder to me. Oh well.
I went downstairs and kept warming up, really annoyed at her reaction. At some point she came downstairs, and I ruthlessly ignored her by looking straight in front of me while she was passing by. I had a bitchy expression on my face, and it reflected the angriness I was feeling inside for having had a girl turn down a gift from me. I could see she looked sad and hurt, but she only had herself to blame for that.
At some point something strange happened: instead of going towards the room reserved for the staff, as staff members who come downstairs usually do, she kept going towards the end of the weight room. There was one of the coaches there. Uhm… She moved closer to him, then a bit closer still, then she hugged him and started to caress him just like a girlfriend does with her boyfriend. OH SHIT!!
Not only did I ask her out when I thought we were alone but instead there was one of her colleagues listening to us, but she was also the girlfriend of one of the coaches… What a workout full of surprises!
In situations like this, there is one and only one thing to do: pretend nothing ever happened. Things are only a big deal if you consider them to be so, and since what happened wasn’t a big deal at all to me, my body language clearly reflected that. Me, I was calm as usual. The staff member who saw me hitting on the girl though, he was embarrassed on my behalf. At some point we walked past each other in the weight room, and he looked down the floor, embarrassed AF. This is a typical thing: when people see someone doing something that would make them embarrassed, they become embarrassed on behalf of that person. He was clearly feeling uncomfortable about the entire thing, and it reflected in his body language.
Seriously dude, what’s the big deal?! You saw me hitting on a girl who happened to be the girlfriend of one of the coaches, so what?! Life is full of unexpected things, and what happened today isn’t a big deal at all, the real problems of life are different ones. Relax dude. See how relaxed I am about the entire thing?!
At the end of that workout and during the following days as well, I removed the girl from the usual Eye-Contact Greeting Loop. I had an exchange with both the angelic and the devilish part of my mind, and all together we decided she didn’t deserve to be put in the same punitive scheme the histrionic girl (a previous coach of the very same gym) was kept for six months until she left the gym. That punitive scheme was particularly cruel, and it consisted in actively ignoring the girl at all times, as if she didn’t exist, while giving extra attention to everyone else next to her when possible. Fact is, the histrionic girl fully deserved that, since she kept trying to selfishly use me in order to feed her fragile ego, and my well-intentioned attempts to correct the situation were welcomed with bitchiness on her side. She thought she was smart, and she ended up taking a major hit as a result of her selfish plan.
With this young girl though, it was a completely different story. She had no plan whatsoever to use me for her personal benefit, and her only “fault” was to have shown too much interest from the distance while being sexually unavailable. That all came down to her being inexperienced, and as such there was nothing she needed to be punished for. Shortly afterwards, I reintroduced her back into the Eye-Contact Greeting Loop, and started to greet her again in a civilises way when she was alone at the entrance.
Eventually, the staff member who witnessed the approach became nonchalant towards me once again. With the girl’s boyfriend things had always been the same as usual, the odd small talk now and then, nothing at all had changed. And the girl herself was relieved when I started greeting her again, but it was clear she got burnt by the entire thing. She never displayed any additional IOA, the sweet smiles and the bursts of joy were completely gone, and if I happened to be having some small talk with the staff while both her and her boyfriend were there as well, she looked serious and uncomfortable.
At some point she became cold and formal towards me, she started looking sad, and then…
I don’t think the entire experience was a pleasant one for her, but I’m sure that thanks to it she’s now a little more experienced (good) and a little less naive (bad).
• Routine Circle Game Summer 2019