*** *** ***
It was now beginning of September, and I felt fatigued as a result of all the previous escalations in my Routine Circle. Also, I seem to remember this was around the time when things fell apart with my local FWB, and she looked sad when we happened to meet by pure coincidence at the gym. And finally, I had also just ghosted two women from the gym, and they were a little uncomfortable when we were meeting there. Fact is, after they showered with compliments for months in a row, I decided to invite them for two separate low-effort meet-ups. But I didn’t fancy seeing them again, each of them for different reasons, and I didn’t invite them for a second meet-up. They too looked hurt when they saw me at the gym…
I needed a change of scene, and for a series of circumstances unrelated to girls, I was planning to leave that gym at the end of the month.
I went there on a Saturday afternoon to do a stretching session, and at some point I went in the weight room downstairs to use the incline bench and some light dumbbells to stretch my pecs. As I walked through the room ignoring everyone, I noticed there was a fit woman in shorts doing some strange movements in front of the mirror. She seemed very harmonious and feminine, and I never saw anyone training like that before. She was using a step, plus the column nearby to maintain the position when relevant, and she seemed overly provocative at times. I asked myself whether it was just a manic attention whore who decided to do that in the middle of a crowded weight room to have all men looking at her, but I concluded that if she needed both the column and the mirror, as it seemed to be the case, that was the only available spot. As such, her presence there seemed to be justified. Nevertheless, there was only one thing for me to do during this first workout together: ignore her completely and ruthlessly (Law of Equilibrium of Interests).
I remained in the weight room very briefly, before going back upstairs to continue the stretching session, but I stayed long enough for her to steal a glance at me. Poor woman, she couldn’t imagine I was keeping her under control with my peripheral vision through the mirror in front of me.
As I was upstairs, we happened to make accidental eye contact while she was leaving the gym. I had my usual unimpressed and aloof facial expression, which I seem to naturally develop as I enter the gym, and after making that accidental eye contact I kept looking in the distance straight in front of me, almost through her. She turned her head sideways instead, with a serious and almost bitchy expression on her face. It was a draw in that occasion.
Next time I went to the gym, she was again downstairs in the middle of the weight room, continuing with her artistic and provocative poses in front of the mirror, while surrounded by a few men lifting weights. Again, I was justifying her presence there by the fact that she needed a column to hold to plus a mirror. I kept ruthlessly ignoring her, and she kept subtly stealing the odd glance at me.
The following time I went training, she was there once again… Basically, one day she appeared at the gym out of the blue, and then she seemed to always be there.
The following week something interesting happened. I was doing pull-ups at the beginning of the workout, and after the first set I went into the empty group classes room nearby, as usual. I prefer to stay there between sets, since it’s way calmer than the weight room, there is no music, and it’s usually empty. Usually…
Upon entering the room, I noticed she was there doing her exercises. I just said, “good morning” with a cordial but not-too-eager facial expression, and kept going towards my usual spot. She seemed pleased to see me, and in hindsight I should have noticed the look of adoration in her eyes. I went and sat down on my usual spot, looking outside the window and giving my back to her. Then I went to do another set, and back again on my spot to rest. When I left the room this time around, I said, “bye” and moved on with the rest of my workout. The ice between me and her had been broken in a very casual way.
I seem to remember I kept ignoring her for a while after that episode, and then one day I decided to start the escalation. We were both downstairs in the weight room, and she was doing her usual artistic moves in front of the mirror. I kept ignoring her while waiting for the right moment to ping her, and that “right moment” consisted in her not being busy with her exercises nor with her phone.
It’s extremely important to appear as effortless when striking up a conversation, and the best way to achieve this is by “casually” passing by when she’s not busy with anything. If you plant yourself next to her while she’s finishing an exercise, or if you interrupt her while she’s sending a text message or reading something on her phone, this will be equivalent to chasing her already. Way too much effort.
I “happened” to “casually” pass by while she was standing up doing nothing, and I said:
You look very harmonious…
Her eyes were shining, and she replied:
Thank you :)
When you do your exercises, you release a lot of feminine energy which is complimentary to the masculine energy of us guys lifting weights.
She smiled and replied something back, with her eyes still shining, and I left on that high note. I went back to ignoring her during the rest of that workout.
At some point I noticed a man started to do some abs right next to her, which was normal since she was in the area which people used to do abs. At some point though, he opened her:
Are you a dancer?
Cringeworthy material indeed.
Me and this girl kept meeting at the gym every time I was going, and the standard routine was to greet her on my way in and on my way out, if I could do so effortlessly, plus some very brief exchanges every now and then, just to interrupt the long periods during which I kept ignoring her. She seemed to be very much into me, and her vibe was always perturbed when I was around.
It was now almost the end of the month, and I was about to change gym. As such, it was time to ask her out. One day, after a workout characterised by the usual effortless greeting and a very brief exchange later on, I went to see her before leaving. In the weight room there was only another guy in addition to me and her.
I would like to invite you for a walk.
Sorry I’m taken… But thanks, that’s very kind of you :)
Fuck. I had had enough of these taken girls interested in my attention only, and that seemed to have been the theme of the summer in terms of Routine Circle Game.
At least I had uncovered her bluff fairly soon, considering that it was maximum two weeks between the very first time we saw each other and the moment I asked her out. For RCG this amount of time is very short indeed, and in this case it was possible for two reasons: first, we happened to meet every single time I was going to the gym, and this not what usually happens in RCG; then, the temporal time constraint I had (i.e. changing gym at the end of the month) helped me speed things up. The final outcome would not have changed had I waited some more time before asking her out, and at least I uncovered her bluff sooner rather than later.
*** *** ***
Guys, do you remember two middle-aged women I did not invite for a second meet-up? Next time I went to the gym, one of them was there. We were training one next to the other, and after the usual small talk she moved all excited very close to me. She told me she had recently overheard there at the gym a girl telling a man how someone of my same nationality tried to pick her up. She described the girl to me, and it was clear it was the girl I had asked out. I confirmed to the middle-aged woman that it was indeed me the person the girl was referring to, and I also explained it wasn’t a smart move on the girl’s side to leverage me for validation and ego boosting.
And guys, do you remember the guy who was next to me and the girl when I asked her out? Ironically, he was also there when the middle-aged woman told me all the above. That guy really had a front seat to the entire show.
Anyway, I was fucking annoyed. And not for having been exposed, since I can live with that. But because the attention whore was leveraging me to feed her fragile ego, and this was clearly unacceptable. And also because I hadn’t realised sooner that the bitch was a full-blown HPD. Now everything was clear: the look of adoration in her eyes, the slow and high-pitched childlike voice, the theatrical movements, the provocative poses, the need to showcase to the world how in demand she was…
My only alibi was that her theatrical body movements were possibly justified by the fact that she was a dancer, but in hindsight the attention whore vibe was there to start with.
Before talking with the middle-aged woman, I was thinking of remaining cold but cordial with the girl in question, since she had been polite in her rejection. But now that the entire picture was clear to me, it was time to make her pay for her opportunistic and attention-seeking ways.
Good behaviour shall be rewarded. Bad behaviour shall be punished.
In cases like this, the most effective punishment is pretty straightforward: ruthlessly ignoring the girl as if she didn’t exist.
*** *** ***
Next time I went to the gym, the girl was already leaving and we met on the sidewalk. I walked past her, ignoring her completely, and she took notice of that.
The following time, I was leaving the changing room and she had just positioned her ass in the direction of the door, so that she could catch me having a look at it. She was doing that exercise where you reach your feet with your hands while standing up, and as such you can see what’s going on behind you, if you want to. Since I knew already how a HPD behaves to secure her validation supply, thanks to the experience I got by dealing with one of the previous coaches in the very gym, I forecasted that move in advance, and I left the changing room while looking up and in the distance, so as not to give her satisfaction. Second blow to her.
We met upstairs during the same workout, and I ruthlessly ignored her even when we were very close to each other, stepping completely outside of social etiquette. Fact is, my behaviour would have been extremely rude in normal circumstances, but dealing with a full-blown HPD is not what I refer to as “normal circumstances”.
She took a major hit as a result of my punitive plan, and she fully deserved it. Now that the big picture was clear to me, her histrionic tendencies were clearly showing. More than once, I arrived at the gym and she was sat down with her legs spread wide open in front of the staircase people use to go downstairs, to have men having a look at her on their way down. Had she been a normal woman, she would have used a wall to spread her legs, and not the glass wall around the staircase.
As I continued to completely ignore her, her body language changed and she was always looking down when I was around. By completely removing my attention, I was really hitting where it hurts.
I love it when a plan comes together.
At some point she even decided to disappear in the group classes room as soon as I arrived at the gym, to avoid being ignored by me. Interestingly enough, the other HPD in that very same gym resorted to similar countermeasures.
Eventually she stopped training altogether in the early afternoon, and she did me a big favour by doing so: finally I could train in peace, without making an effort to actively ignore her all the time.
HPD girls are going to selfishly use you for validation as long as you allow it. You need to be smart in uncovering their evil plan as soon as possible, and then you punish them by ruthlessly and completely ignoring them.
• Routine Circle Game Summer 2019