Looking back at my own journey, I reached the conclusion that the more in peace with the world and the more experienced a guy becomes, the less important of a factor women’s physical appearance ends up being for him .
Fact is, assuming you are actually in peace with yourself and you are not validating yourself through “notches”, there are other elements which are way more important than how hot a woman looks.
This, in order of priority, is what I look for in a woman to decide whether I’m interested in her or not:
● Her sweetness
● Her moral values
● Her looks
There is inner sweetness and then there is outer sweetness.
Going through the different types of girls, a Sweet Girl is sweet both on the inside and on the outside, since she doesn’t consider displaying her sweetness as a “weakness” (God bless the Sweet Girls). A Diva is sweet on the inside but likes to display a certain image of “superiority” on the outside, especially towards the guys she’s attracted to and especially at the beginning. A Non-Submissive Sweet Girl is sweet on the inside, sweet also on the outside, but she has that first-wave feminist backbone which I respect but I’m not attracted to.
I like girls to be sweet, girly, submissive and moderately needy of my affection. As such, in terms of this first element (“her sweetness”), the girls I’m naturally attracted to are the Sweet Girls only.
Girls with no sweetness whatsoever, namely the Evil Bitches, the Autocrats and the Zombies, are only relevant to this conversation in the measure that your screening mechanism needs to be sharp enough to promptly recognise them and filter them out.
Then we have the Sweet Bitches. More often than not they are actually quite attractive, and they represent a big share of the young female population in first-world countries. But they are more mischievous than sweet, and more teasing than feminine, and as such I’m just not that impressed by them.
Her moral values
We all naturally gravitate towards people who make us feel better about ourselves, and this is true in any kind of interpersonal relationship. There are also cases where we are “trapped” with people who are not congenial to us, be it at work, within the family, etc, and here it’s a matter of either elaborating some workarounds to minimise the displeasure of dealing with those people, or just figuring out an exit plan and leave. But given the choice, which means putting aside cases we don’t have full control on, and also assuming there is no ulterior motive behind our actions, we all tend to associate ourselves with people who have a positive contribution to our lives at emotional level, with people who make us feel better about ourselves that is.
When it comes to a man looking for a woman, be it for one night or for an entire lifetime, he will screen her based on what’s important to him. All else being equal, a PUA will screen her for sluttiness, a Nice Guy will screen her for being a woman who will take him (not much of a screening…), a Try-Hard will screen her for “status” and appearance, a High Value Guy will screen her for moral values.
So, what are moral values?
This is one of the topics for which my stance is very clear at emotional level, but then I have troubles explaining it. Hence, I took inspiration from a few sources around the Web:
“Moral values refer to a set of principles that guide an individual on how to evaluate right versus wrong. People generally apply moral values to justify decisions, intentions and actions, and it also defines the personal character of a person. An individual with high moral values typically displays characteristics of integrity, courage, respect, fairness, honesty and compassion.” – reference.com
“Moral values are the standards of good and evil, which govern an individual’s behaviour and choices. […] The choices that are made by an individual from childhood to adulthood are between forbidden and acceptable, kind or cruel, generous or selfish. A person may, under any given set of circumstances, decide to do what is forbidden. If this individual possesses moral values, going against them usually produces guilt.” – allaboutphilosophy.org
I was taught since I was a little kid to be respectful of the rules and respectful towards others, and this has instilled a deep sense of integrity, honesty and fairness within me. Each of us has different boundaries for what is “right” vs. “wrong”, and for what is “acceptable” vs. “unacceptable”. When it comes to people I know well and think highly of, I realise that compared to them I’m much more stringent on certain aspects and much more relaxed on others – and this is only normal. But if on one side we have different views on some of the micro-level aspects, on the other side we have a strong alignment on the macro-level moral values (i.e. “the baseline”).
A person aligned with my moral values is what I refer to as a “good person”, and it’s important for me to perceive the girl in front of me as a good person.
All right, here we are, discussing women’s looks. And the reason the preamble was so comprehensive is because discussing such a topic only makes sense as part of a wider reasoning.
The way a girl looks is not something I aim at maximising when looking for a woman. Rather, it’s something I evaluate based on a very simple and binary criterion:
Am I immediately attracted to her? Yes/No
This evaluation is instinctive, and happens in a split second the very first time I see a girl. To me, evaluating a girl’s looks is not something rational which is based on the combination of certain measurable parameters, rather it’s something emotional based on the raw sexual attraction I feel towards her when I see her, and the tension I feel within me when around her.
When I first see a girl, and based on the above two elements, she ends up in one of these levels based purely on her looks:
● Out of this world
● Somewhat Interesting
● Not physically attracted
Out of this world
Uhm… how can we define this ultimate level of female beauty?!
The face of Adriana Lima when she doesn’t smile too much…
…combined with your ideal body type?!
Uhm… I would say that however this level is defined, we don’t really need to worry about it, since it doesn’t really exist in the so-called “real world”.
Stunners, meaning stunningly beautiful girls, are very rare in the real world.
Let’s play a little game: how often do you bump into a girl with such a beautiful face and your ideal body type?
Not very often I would think. Let’s try again… How about her? How often do you bump into a girl with such a beautiful face and your ideal body type?
This level of beauty is rare, very rare. Thinking back over the last few years, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I saw such level of beauty when out and about.
When I was in the UK, there was a Stunner working at the local John Lewis. She was working on Saturdays only, and she didn’t need to wear the uniform like all the other staff members. Here where I live, there is another Stunner working at the local John Lewis equivalent, and guess what?! She works only on Saturdays as well! What are the chances!!
I saw another Stunner at Moscow Sheremetyevo airport, walking alongside a man displaying the usual signs of the rich Russian sponsor: grumpy, overweight, horrible fashion style, thick gold chain in good view, walking like a body builder, surely a fat wallet, and surely a propensity for showing off money (which by the way is the Russian idea of “strength”). I immediately labelled this Stunner as a Gold Digger, because this is what she was, and I actually resented her for that. I played it cool as we were walking towards each other, ignoring her and looking straight in the distance, and I actually caught her stealing a glance at me (brrrr). But after walking past her, I felt a major urge to turn around and have another look at her. At human level I instinctively disliked her, but still, in terms of pure looks she was a masterpiece of beauty, and she wasn’t displaying any sign of the Dealbreaker Triangle.
Another Stunner was at the gym. Somehow I ended up doing a Body Pump class once, and I didn’t even see her initially, but she was at the opposite side of the room compared to me. A real beauty. She had a perpetual bitchy expression on her face, surely caused by the constant flow of unwanted male attention she was exposed to during the day, and she left a few minutes before the class was finished, surely to avoid the awkwardness of having guys “casually” start conversations at the end of the class with approval-seeking smiles and all that.
My body resonates when I see such level of beauty, things like the 1-2-3 Method and the Law of Equilibrium of Interests go out of the window (almost), mainly because seeing a Stunner either makes me happy and smiley, or tense and shy, and my interest tends to be betrayed in both cases. This level of beauty is rare, very rare.
Hot women are still rare but less than the Stunners.
They command male attention everywhere they go, and surely they have a deep prize mentality instilled within them.
If I wanted to play the game on equal footing, this is the level I should be aiming at. But I feel some unease when around them, first off because I rarely interact with women of such high level of attractiveness, then because I have deep sexual attraction resonating throughout my body when I see them, and finally because I have the impression that just going next to them and snapping my fingers may not be enough to win them over.
Cute girls are my favourite.
They have a sweet face which transmits me good emotions, plus my ideal body type (slim). The best thing about the Cute girls is that on one side I am highly attracted to them, and on the other side they are not exposed to that continuous stream of male attention everywhere they go. Don’t get me wrong, Cute girls are still very much attractive, they are still very much in demand, but still, they are not the girls who make guys stop talking and straighten up wherever they walk in.
I feel at complete ease and in complete control when around Cute girls, and to me a Cute girl is the ideal GF candidate.
When I feel that a girl is into me and I end up asking myself whether I like her or not, this is a clear sign that said girl is Somewhat Interesting in my eyes.
And when I look at a girl who I find not ugly nor average, but I instinctively feel that I wouldn’t want her as my GF because that raw sexual attraction is missing, this is another sign that the girl is Somewhat Interesting in my eyes.
For me to remain enthusiastic with a Somewhat Interesting girl, it’s important that I perceive sweetness and kindness within her, submissiveness towards me, plus an alignment with my way of thinking.
Attraction is not a choice, and there are girls I’m just not physically attracted to (most of them actually). It’s difficult for anything to happen between me and a girl I’m not attracted to, but is she is sweet and a good person overall, I’m happy to be playful with her and tease her.
 This conclusion was reached based on a sample of 1!