Guys, this post is heavily centred around me being good-looking, so if this bothers you even in the slightest, just give this post a miss and no big deal.
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Male attractiveness is made of levels, and in real life those levels are way more numerous compared to the binary Tinder split between the male-model-looking guys and the rest of us.
As you know already, everything I write on this blog comes from my first-hand experience only. You won’t find any “gospel truths” based on mere speculation around here, nor will you find any “absolute truths” based on whatever the prevalent Internet opinion on a specific subject is at the moment. As such, this guide cannot be comprehensive, since I’m only going to cover the levels I’m familiar with.
And those levels I’m familiar with are three, two of which I’ve gone through at different stages of my life, plus one which is inaccessible to me but I’ve gathered enough first-hand info on it to have a good idea of what it looks like:
● Generates immediate attraction within social circles
● Generates immediate attraction, everywhere
● Generates immediate arousal, everywhere
Generates immediate attraction within social circles
Guys, don’t hate me for that, but I was born good-looking, and as such I’ve had girls crushing on me all my life since elementary school.
Up to a certain point, what I noticed was that I had consistent positive attention but mainly within the social circles I was part of (e.g. within my class and the immediate surroundings at school, within my extended family, within the people routinely frequenting the swimming pool where I was going every day, within my university class, at the gym, within my parent’s acquaintances, at work, within my neighbours, etc.).
I could clearly feel that most of the girls I was in direct contact with found me attractive, and I could feel the same for some of the girls I was in proximity with in more “situational” scenarios. Then there were also the girls expressing their interest through our common friends. Etc.
All that positive attention was present, but I didn’t really feel like sticking out when out and about amongst strangers, and I didn’t really feel like perturbating any vibes nor intimidating any girls as I walked in somewhere.
Generates immediate attraction, everywhere
My face looks sweet and cute, no ruggedness whatsoever, and as such I always looked way younger than my age. Up until age 25, I surely looked too young to generate any kind of consistent attraction across the spectrum. Then, my Fundamentals started to slide slowly but surely up to until age 30, so I missed out on my chance there.
The kind of positive attention described in the previous point was always present, even when my Fundamentals were at the lowest point ever, since the baseline remains the baseline. But then one day, I found myself newly single and about to move to a new country where I didn’t know anyone, and with no intention whatsoever of going through the hassle of finding social circles and then being part of them. I found myself trying to approach girls with whom I had no language in common, and most importantly girls who didn’t seem to be immediately impressed by me.
This second fact left me thinking for a while, and I concluded that two things had happened during my many years of monogamy. First off, the girls didn’t seem to be “hungry” for direct male interest, like at all. Then, girls had grown up and become more experienced compared to the lovely girls I was dealing with ten years prior – girls who were more easily won over, not that good at hiding their interest, and generally kinder.
Anyway, whatever the macro-level root causes behind those mild reactions were, the solution for me was simple: I needed to step up my game, which for me means – I needed to improve my Fundamentals.
Here there is an idea of what my Fundamentals looked like back then compared to now in terms of the elements we have control on, i.e. in terms of the “changeables”. I quickly sorted out grooming, and switching from clean-shaven to stubble instantly did wonders for me, since right away it gave me the masculine edge I was missing. Then, within a few months, I finally got the proper haircut for my face, which gave me a huge boost, and went through the overall process of maximising my Looks.
In terms of Vibe, which is a huge factor and bigger than most guys realise, I went through a similar but different journey, and it’s worth spending a few words on it.
As soon as I arrived in this new country, I felt pretty much like a ghost when out and about. Fact is, as long as I was living in the UK, I could always get a few smiles here and there, even if my Fundamentals were at the lowest point ever. But then, all of a sudden, I found myself walking amongst the complete general indifference. Ouch. This single element was making me feel uncomfortable to start with, and combined with the fact that I was still unfamiliar and still unease with the new city, I surely looked tense when out on the town. In hindsight, I recall catching a lot of pacifiers rather than Indicators of Attraction back then, and this clearly means that my Vibe was off.
I maximised my Looks within six months, and the attention I was getting was surely more compared to the beginning. But still, I was stressed by the daily commuting, by the perceived lack of time in my life (mainly driven by the ridiculous opening times of the local customer-facing shops and offices), by the heavily unbalanced equilibriums in the Sexual Marketplace, by having to deal with a lot of crap during my re-calibration phase, by having to remove all the rust accumulated during the many years of monogamy, etc. And I got bitter along the way, very bitter, and that’s when I decided to stop dealing with the local girls altogether, and start travelling to Russia instead. I distinctly remember hating this new country and its girls back then.
I travelled to Moscow twice in the first four months of 2018, and then shit happened with my health. The rest of the year was characterised by a lot of pain, fear, moments of despair, and a constant effort to keep my mind busy with something else and let the treatment make its course. I walked on crutches for five months, and that’s when something interesting happened.
My Fundamentals were still solid, but I now looked like the most innocuous and the most defenceless creature. Several times I was stopped by old women asking how I was feeling and wishing me luck, girls in general were looking at me compassionately, and a few of them went out of their way to help me. All of a sudden that feeling of being at war with the opposite sex was gone, mainly because I had much bigger things in my head, but also because the local girls were now showing me their kinder side.
In the last few months of 2018 I got rid of the crutches, but I could walk very little and my movements were limited to the bare minimum. Then, finally, at the beginning of 2019 I could walk again normally, I started to go out again during the day, and…
…consistent attention everywhere.
Literarily, everywhere. And this is why I keep banging on and on about the importance Vibe: my Fundamentals were pretty much similar to what they were one year prior, but now the attention I was getting was not even comparable, and it all came down to my new Vibe. Now I was in complete peace with myself, all the stress driven by the previous little trivialities of life was gone, nothing was a big deal anymore, nothing could shake me anymore. Now I was completely relaxed, completely grounded, and it would have been difficult to give less of a fuck to be honest. My baseline Vibe had become rock-solid, and the way I was carrying myself had changed drastically.
I moved from a smile here and there to a continuous stream of Indicators of Attraction during the day, I started perturbating vibes regularly pretty much wherever I went, I started having consistent IOAs from girls walking with their boyfriends, I started getting catcalled regularly, etc.
Simply put, I started generating immediate attraction everywhere I was going.
The most interesting thing I noticed was the consistency of the reactions across the spectrum, like either they all like you that much or none of them will (not so black and white, but you get the idea). Another interesting thing was that before falling sick, when my Looks were maximised but my Vibe was still a bit off, I was getting regular IOAs and regular Approach Invitations; then, once my Vibe became rock-solid, IOAs skyrocketed while AIs pretty much disappeared!!
Generates immediate arousal, everywhere
All right, so I can generate immediate attraction consistently – surely a good thing, and surely life is better like that. But still, I can feel that something is missing…
First off, Tinder doesn’t work for me. And actually, this trend started way before Tinder: in my early twenties, a female friend of mine asked me for a photo because she wanted to set me up with a girlfriend of hers; I provided the photo, and after a few days the feedback I got was that, “I looked too sweet”. All right. Fact is, in order to stick out and get a privileged treatment compared to everyone else, you must be doing things exactly right, and in picture I don’t manage to do so. And if you look at my Tinder experiment and at some of the other experiments present online, you will notice how the guys for whom Tinder works are the ones who generate arousal – that’s the way of doing things exactly right on Tinder.
Then, in real life, I’ve always had the feeling that I am the guy girls want to fall in love with and the guy whose attention is precious, but not the guy girls want to fuck all night after ripping off his clothes. And why is that? Because I don’t generate immediate arousal.
To get an idea of what happens at that ultimate level of male attractiveness, let’s look at a consistent set of experiences from some self-declared ultra-attractive men on Reddit .
As you can see, there are a lot of similarities in what those guys are saying. And the reason why I post them is because I know that these things are true, since I have experienced some of them on a smaller scale, and as such I trust those guys with the rest of what they are saying.
Also, back in my home town, there is a guy who is more attractive than me and looks way more masculine compared to me. And guess what? Girls actively work to get with him, girls compete for him, girls he doesn’t know “casually” contact him on social networks, etc.
This friend of mine, and the guys who posted the above messages on Reddit, and the guys who can afford to successfully open their Tinder matches with “a drink together + sex?”, those guys have one thing in common – they are at the ultimate level of the Male Attractiveness Scale, they generate immediate arousal.
Back to that friend of mine. He’s a good person overall, he’s surely very attractive, but at the same time he’s surely very troubled as well. He’s always ridden by self-doubt and indecisiveness, and possibly he’s even scared of women, since he puts as many obstacles as possible to postpone sex for as long as possible, or better yet to avoid it altogether. And guess what? He always ends up with girls way below his SMV, girls who are usually domineering and self-assured (girls with masculine traits basically).
And the lesson here is important: to get women of a certain calibre, in terms of looks but especially in terms of manners, you cannot just take a back seat and wait for them to come to you, no matter how “ultra-attractive” you are. Also because, the very fact of a girl approaching you and moving things forward with you, this signals an element of masculinity within her that has nothing to do with the desirable feminine traits of sweetness, grace and composure (see: Female Attractiveness Scale).
And now let’s wrap up this post on a high note, because on one side quite a lot of guys sell themselves extremely short without even realising it, on the other side self-pity never did anyone any good.
First off, have a look at the section on Fundamentals, which contains an enormous amount of actionable tips and relevant knowledge to make you look more attractive. Caveat: it requires a hell of a lot of work, but there is no getting away from it – if you put in the required level of effort, you will look more attractive, no matter what your starting baseline is. And life will be more pleasant as a result.
Then, the pandemic gave me the opportunity to bring my “parametric studies” to the next level, and for the first time ever I was in the position to go around with my face fully covered and see what happened. In my re-calibration phase, I had already tried things like different fashion styles, different clothes colours, different haircuts, etc, but in normal circumstances you don’t get to go around with your face fully covered for the sake of experimenting, do you? Due to the pandemic I started wearing a mask which covers most of my face, on top of that I also wear sunglasses which cover pretty much whatever is left of my face, and because of physical inactivity I look thinner than usual these days. And yet, to my initial surprise, the Indicators of Attraction were still present when out and about??!
Initially I was a bit puzzled about that finding myself, and that’s when I realised that the way you carry yourself, which is a direct representation of your own self-perception and of the way you feel inside, well… I had to reconsider my view on the matter slightly, because apparently the way you carry yourself is even more important than what I initially though. And guess what, a chiselled jawline is not a mandatory requirement for walking the right way. No, what is mandatory is a condition of full acceptance relative to you and to the world around you, the absence of any overcompensation in your actions, and a genuine belief of being the number one. Again, chiselled jawline not mandatory to achieve all that.
 Reddit – What is your life like ultra-attractive men?