Escalating teases

Escalating teases are great, since they allow you to test the waters with a girl without “formally” escalating things with her, and they come with two other big advantages.

First and foremost, if you use them early on during the very first interaction with a girl, you make sure not to leave any unnecessary amount of “free” attention and “free” validation on the table, immediately establishing whether she’s single and potentially open to the idea of getting with you, were you to play your cards right, or whether she’s taken and after your attention only. And the great thing is that you achieve this initial screening by providing the smallest amount of “free” validation along the way, since you didn’t ask her out, but rather you were “just being playful”.

And also, by dropping a “playful” escalating tease sooner rather than later, you make your intentions clear fairly quickly, and as such you speed up the entire escalation dance quite a lot.

We already saw some escalating teases while looking at how to apply the 1-2-3 Method with groups of two girls in your Routine Circle. The specific example I used was how to smoothen the transition from phase 2 (“ping her”) to phase 3 (“escalate things with her”) with groups of two girls you have previously broken the ice with at the gym. Let’s look at the relevant extract from that post.

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[…] Here things are a little more complex [compared to a girl on her own], since there is an additional variable in the equation: the social pressure on the girl coming from her girlfriend.

In this sort of cases, it felt appropriate changing gear before indirectly asking the girl out. And the way I was changing gear was through “escalating teases”.

Before dropping an escalating tease, it’s important that the girl you are interested in has been warm towards you during the escalation dance. Let’s look at an example of escalating tease.

> You have already had a brief interaction with the two girls during the workout [and all of you already know each other, since you broke the ice in previous workouts].
> You are now using a machine far away from them.
> They come fairly close to you to use one of the machines there.
> Looking at the girl you are interested in, that’s when you say with a playful silly expression:

Did you girls come over here to hit on me?! :)

Here’s another example:

> You have already had a brief interaction with the two girls during the workout.
> They are now using a machine far away from you.
> You go fairly close to them to use one of the machines there.
> Looking at the girl you are interested in, that’s when you say with a playful silly expression:

Girls I need to use this machine here next to you. But please don’t start hitting on me!! :)

You need to be extremely playful when you say something like that, and the reaction from the girl you are interested in must be absolutely positive.

If she has a burst of joy or starts giggling, you have the green light to move to the following phase but not immediately.

If she reacts uncomfortable or defensive, that’s not good at all, because she may not be sexually available.

After the escalating tease, you go back to the escalation dance (ignore, ping, escalate). Your social calibration will tell you when the time is right to finally ask her out indirectly. [continues here]

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Those two examples of escalating teases are for groups of two girls you have previously built some light rapport with, and seem potentially receptive to you. Still, it takes some time and some effort to build that “light rapport” in Routine Circle Game…

If you consider the gym, those two girls aren’t always going to be there when you go to train, and when they happen to be there you need to play it cool and deploy the 1-2-3 Method nonchalantly over time, since the last thing you want in RCG is to appear as too eager or uncalibrated.

Recently I changed gym, and I realised that my previous gym was the exception rather than the rule in terms of hitting on girls: it was small, it was very calm in the early afternoon, and the girls were consistent in terms of their training days and times. All that meant that I had plenty of opportunities to nonchalantly deploy the 1-2-3 Method over time with a few of them.

Compare that to my current gym: it’s much bigger, it’s fairly crowded even in the early afternoon, and the girls seem to be completely inconsistent in terms of their training days and times. There are several disadvantages associated to all that.

Since the gym is bigger, it’s more difficult to “casually happen to train” next to the girl I’m interested in, so that I can actively ignore her in phase 1, casually ping her in phase 2, and progressively escalate things with her in phase 3. Also, since the gym is more crowded, there is more social pressure on the girls, and their pre-emptive defences are potentially higher (I say “potentially” because most men training there seem to be not that much into girls…). And since the girls are inconsistent in terms of the training schedule, the deployment speed of the 1-2-3 Method with any of them ranges from “ridiculously slow” to n/a.

That made me thinking, and since that thinking happened while I was writing the posts on how most girls are interested in my attention only, I had a great idea on how to kill two birds with a stone.

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You are either in a Situational scenario (e.g. on a bus, in a museum, in a park, etc.) or in a Routine Circle scenario (e.g. at the gym, at your local grocery shop, at your local library, etc.).

There is a girl next to you, and you have either just made a situational remark, or you have just asked her something purely situational. Social Calibration is king here.

The girl replies back to you, and there is no defensiveness nor bitchiness in her. She doesn’t need to be extra warm to you, since at the end of the day you are talking of something purely situational, but it’s important that she doesn’t look uncomfortable/bothered.

That’s when you drop a nice escalating tease, and the initial structure of the conversation can be something like this:

[situational remark]

[situational answer]

[follow-up remark]


Actually, there is something you need to know…


I only talk with single girls :)

That’s the escalating tease, and it’s important that you deliver that with a playful expression, since that screening/escalating tool is to be presented like a joking tease nevertheless.

You have been in a conversation with this girl for a few seconds only, and she already needs to put her cards on the table thanks your escalating tease. That’s powerful!!

If she’s taken, no need to continue the escalation dance with her, and no need to provide her with any more validation through your attention. Since she was cordial with you (otherwise you wouldn’t have dropped the escalating tease in the first place) you will be cordial with her, smiling at her while you leave the conversation on a high note.

Actually, I have someone already…

Ahhh!! I’m really sorry but we need to stop this conversation here :) Take care :)

Seriously guys, if you were to continue the escalation dance with her, either during that initial conversation or over time (1-2-3 Method), eventually she will have rejected you because she’s taken already. And guess what… now you have rejected her for the very same reason. Powerful indeed.

If you happen to see her again, assuming she doesn’t start to behave like an attention-seeking broken girl (i.e. like an attention whore), you will be cordial with her once again, smiling at her and greeting her if you can do so effortlessly. But no small talk and no teasing, since that is not a given.

On the other hand, if you find out that she is single thanks to the escalating tease, the escalation dance will continue and your Social Calibration will tell you how to proceed.

If you ask me, I would suggest retreating a little bit and playing it cool after dropping the escalating tease, since you don’t want to appear as too eager nor to be going all-in from the get-go. At the end of the day, you are a cool guy with his shit together and an abundant mindset, there is no neediness nor desperation in you, and the rest of the escalation needs to be consistent with those qualities of yours.

If you think about it, what happens is that those very qualities of yours help you generate consistent attraction from the distance, the side effect is that there will be women interested solely in validating themselves through your attention, and with your prompt escalating teases you filter out those opportunistic women immediately. Excellent.

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