The first time I thought about writing this post was back in March, when the pandemic started spreading throughout Europe and we started wearing masks. Something fairly surprising happened when I started going around with the mask, and part of me really wanted to share that good news with you, since it’s good news for anyone interested in improving his Fundamentals really, but at the time I refrained from writing this post for two reasons.
First off, I had just released the entire series on the Indicators of Attraction, and the way the human mind works is that if someone is still working on his Fundamentals and doesn’t get all the attention described in those four posts yet, but at the same time he would like to be at the receiving end of all those smiles and looks and he is frustrated by the current absence of them, then he may end up resenting me and write off this blog altogether, since reading it makes him feel bad about himself. You could argue that it could have been a screening mechanism for the readership, because if a guy reacts like that then it means that he is a bit unsure of himself and prefers to give up rather than putting in the required amount of effort to improve his situation, but that one is a screening I’m not interested in doing. Quite the opposite, as long as someone is interested in living and behaving like a Man, no matter where he is on his improvement journey, then he is encouraged to stick around. Both because there are a few more actionable posts which are still on the pipeline to complete the conversation on Game, and also because giving up and joining the enemy ranks together with the white knights, simps, SJWs, male feminists, politically-correct hypocrites, etc., would only contribute to fucking up our society at an even faster rate than what is already happening.
The second reason I didn’t wrote this post at the time is much less philosophical – I was just busy with other things.
Then the good season came, and if before most of my face was already covered by the mask, now the sunglasses were covering whatever else was left as well.
And that’s when things got really interesting: even if my face was completely hidden, I was still getting some Indicators of Attraction while going around. Not as many compared to when I used to go around without all that kit, of course, but still some nevertheless, and personally I was not anticipating getting any smiles nor any giggling whatsoever while going around like that.
Someone who has only just started reading the blog may think that I’ve got some sort of huge muscular build or that I am somehow famous here where I live, but that’s absolutely not the case. When it comes to the physique, I am… what was that word again…an ectomorph. I was 178cm (5”10) and 68kg (150lb) when I was still going to the gym four times a week before the pandemic, and even if my height has not changed due to inactivity (hopefully), I have surely lost some muscles. Not that I have a belly or any extra fat right now, since I have revised my Diet Plan to take into account the lower caloric consumption due to inactivity, but surely I look a bit thinner than usual. And my physique was not that imposing to start with…
Someone else may think that I have some wonderful hair and that my fabulous hairstyle is the reason behind all those unexpected smiles and IOAs, but this is not the case either. I have a full head of hair, yes, but I’ve been cutting my hair by myself since March and the end result is surely not great. Not horrible either, since I have wavy hair and this somewhat compensates for my lack of hairdressing skills, but surely I don’t expect any boost from my hairstyle at the moment.
So, what can it be, why am I still getting those smiles even if I go around with a fully covered inexpressive face and my Fundamentals are not as strong as before?
All right let’s stop this treasure hunt and let’s go straight to the solution. The two reasons are, in order of reverse importance:
● No cockblocks in my wardrobe
● The way I walk
No cockblocks in my wardrobe
If you have read the fashion blog Sexy Style for Joe by Darius, as you should, you have surely bumped into the concept of getting rid of the cockblocks in your wardrobe (see here for the link to the blog). That means, there is no space in your wardrobe for any piece of garment which acts like a cockblock by killing attraction.
Poorly fitting clothes, clothes of questionable style, clothes of questionable colours, clothes which don’t look good on you, etc., all those clothes simply need to go. If you don’t get rid of them, the day you feel down in the dumps, or the day you just don’t feel like putting any effort into dressing the right way, that day you will naturally lean towards those clothes, maybe because their poor fashion style reflects the poor internal emotions you are feeling that day, and the end result is that you’ll go around dressed like a clueless Nice Guy who doesn’t get it.
And please, don’t fall prey to that variant of the Sunk Cost Fallacy which leads people into wearing clothes which they realise are pretty horrible simply because they feel the need to “use them,” or better yet to “amortise them.” First of all, the concept of amortization is completely different and it’s not related to how much you use an asset, also because it deals with intangible assets (depreciation takes care of the tangibles). Then, wearing those horrible clothes will not give you your money back, rather it will simply trick your mind into feeling less guilty for the expensive mistake you have made. And finally, if you want to apply financial concepts to your wardrobe, just proceed with a write-off instead and get rid of them (I mean, you don’t necessarily need to throw them away, but at the very least put them in a box and put that box somewhere not easily accessible). Being able to face reality for what it is, and being able to take the appropriate actions rather than increasing the damage for the sake of complying with the coping mechanism your mind is steering you towards, doing that will put you miles ahead compared for instance to a long list of incompetent CEOs who have destroyed quite a lot of shareholders’ value for the sake of pacifying their minds and showing consistency with some previous poor choices of theirs.
Hence, get rid of the cockblocks in your wardrobe.
In my own case, it has been a few months now that the very few times I have left my apartment I have been wearing the most casual of my shoes, the most casual of my jeans, the most casual of my jackets first, the most casual of my T-shirts then, etc. But since there are no cockblocks in my wardrobe, and since even those most casual things look pretty nice actually, there was no way the contribution to my Fundamentals coming from fashion could go lower than a certain threshold, which is still high if you do things right. And since we are at it, these are some relevant posts:
All right let’s go to the juiciest part of this post.
The way I walk
I’ve been banging on and on about the importance of projecting the right Vibe, but let me tell you guys that I’ve been a bit surprised myself to realise that the way you walk is even more important than what I initially thought.
I mean, especially when considering that pretty much everybody doesn’t wear a mask when outside, and that the subliminal forces really try to weight you down by making you feel different and out of place compared to the carefree cattle which doesn’t take any sort of precautions when around other people, considering all that it’s quite impressive being able to generate some attraction and command some attention, instead of being laughed at.
And it all comes down to the way you walk, to the way you carry yourself. We have already talked about this point as part of the External 20% related to Vibe (see here) and it surely won’t hurt covering it again here, especially considering how important it is.
Here is how to walk the right way:
● Walk with a purpose
● Walk slowly
● Swing your arms back and forth, slowly
● Feet pointing straight
● Head straight
● Upper body straight
● Shoulders fairly relaxed and not locked
● No sideways upper-body movements
● No sideways arm swinging
And this is the usual example for you, keeping in mind that in this clip Bond does two things wrong compared to the above checklist (i.e. he walks too fast and he doesn’t swing his arms at all):
I recommend you try the walk in front of a mirror to make sure the technical execution is good, and when you are walking with the sun behind you, you can also check your shadow in front of you to make sure for instance that your shoulders go slightly up and down, yet they don’t move sideways at all.
That it is for the technical part, but contrary to what the fake-it-till-you-make-it guys will tell you, I don’t think that you can achieve the result I’m talking about simply by focusing on the technicalities.
Fact is, the way you carry yourself reflects the way you are feeling inside, and the best way to pull off a sexy and dominant walk is by focusing on your dominant Vibe first, and on the technicalities of said walk then.
Once you are truly convinced of being the number one, once you are truly in peace with yourself, and once you have reached a status of complete acceptance, at that point it will be pretty trivial to go again through the above list and take on board whatever technical detail is still missing from the way you walk.
Let’s consider an example to drive the point home and let’s look at this guy:
Not the most confident, is he? Head leaning forward and looking down signalling low self-confidence, plus hand slightly tightened signalling discomfort. On top of that, poor fashion style and no muscle whatsoever. We can safely assume that this guy carries himself as someone who doesn’t feel like the number one. And as long as he doesn’t work on his Vibe and his internal self-perception first, he can go over and over the above checklist on how to walk the right way, but the end result will be subpar at best. Because it will be like building a sand castle near the water edge and expect to find it there intact the next morning – it ain’t happening.
But for the sake of this hypothetical exercise, let’s go a step further and let’s imagine that the above guy, in his current condition of low self-confidence and low self-esteem, is really determined to walk the right way, and spends countless hours going over and over the checklist until he masters the art of walking the right way when in perfect isolation. Et voilà, fake it till you make it for you.
But there is one “little” issue though: the day he decides to go out and pull off that walk in the real world, as soon as he experiences even the slightest of the negative emotions he will have self-doubt and low self-confidence haunting him once again, and in that very moment he will crumble apart and revert to walking just as shown in the above picture. Hence, one more time, the change needs to come from a real change of internal beliefs and internal self-perception, rather than from endless hours of pure technical training on the mechanics of the walk.
Let’s cover some more examples of what not to do.
The above guy guy is not keeping his back and his head straight, and as long as he keeps walking like that he will project submissiveness and low self-confidence.
That guy walks with his hands in his pockets, rather than swinging his arms, and overall just looking at this snapshot you can perceive lack of any dominant attitude.
That man not only walks with his feet pointing sideways rather than straight, but he also doesn’t swing his arms at all. Plus, that tight-ass walk doesn’t look masculine at all.
That other man walks cluelessly and without a purpose. Also, his feet are not pointing straight and his arms are not swinging at all.
He is way too much in a hurry.
I’m not sure if the above guy is hetero, but surely he doesn’t walk like one.
Those two guys project low self-confidence by looking down while walking. They may have good reasons for looking down, since one is walking on uneven ground and the other one is navigating his way through a puddle, but as we saw when discussing the External 20% relating to Vibe, every time the situation forces you to show body movements which resemble low-confidence poses, you just exaggerate them to make it blatantly clear that the reason you are looking down is not out of low self-confidence. And what I recommend is that, every time you need to look down out of necessity, you spread your arms making it blatantly clear that you are looking down simply to avoid an obstacle or for whatever else good reason.
All right after all those negative examples let’s look at the picture of someone who is walking the right way.
If you have read my posts on body language and the sources linked there, you may promptly point out that the guy has his hand stuck inside his pocket and that’s a sign of discomfort at the very least. Fair point, but if you avoid that single thing, he doesn’t everything else right, also considering that he cannot swing his arms since he’s on the phone. As you can see from the picture, he walks with a purpose, his feet are pointing straight, he doesn’t seem rushed, etc. That’s how you walk the right way. And assuming you are not on the phone, you also need to remember to swing your arms back and forth, slowly, and to keep the shoulders relaxed yet now to swing them sideways at all.
*** *** ***
Since we are talking about posture when standing up, let’s also look at how to stand still the right way.
Let’s start with what not to do first.
The above guy guy stands still with his feet pointing sideways, which is a no-go.
Let’s look at thig guy now.
His legs are unnaturally close one to the other, and his feet are in the heel-to-heel position which is a typical clueless-Nice-Guy trait. His hand is hidden in his pocket, signalling discomfort, and his head is downward-pointing, signalling submissiveness. Sure, the reason he looks down is because he is looking at his phone, but he could just raise his phone a bit more so as to keep his head straighter than that. And by the way guys, that cringeworthy position is how you look when you are out and about and you immerse yourself in the screen of your phone. Back in 1995 that pose could have been sexy and could have signalled coolness, since mobile phones were not as widespread, but in this day and age you simply look like an autistic zombie.
Let’s look at another example.
Same again: heel-to-heel feet position, which is really as bad as it gets, and head completely downward-pointing. And while the previous guy was at least keeping his back straight, this one has a strange S-shaped pose. Not good at all.
Let’s not change gear and let’s look at some examples at the complete opposite side of the spectrum.
The above guy is really trying too hard. You look at him and you think of someone who is just mentally going over the checklist he saw on that piece entitled “53 techniques to look more dominant and make her yours:”
Legs spread apart…check
Feet pointing straight…check
Thumbs sticking out of the pocket as much as possible…check
Looking sideways and in the distance…check
He doesn’t seem natural nor actually relaxed to me, rather he just looks like a try-hard. Surely better than the previous two guys with heel-to-heel feet position, but still.
Here I think it depends on the objectives. Are you trying to scare the rival clan away from the area you control? That pose may be good for you. Are you trying to generate some attraction with the girls? Well, how about you try not to frighten them first??
All right, after all those examples of what not to do, let’s see a better way of standing still.
And that’s the way you do it.