A brilliant idea

I was watching some Looney Tunes cartoons just the other day, and I had a brilliant idea.

And by the way, I recommend everyone watches cartoons, since doing that keeps you young and playful, and staying young and playful is essential indeed: it helps you steer clear of bitterness and grudge should you still make the mistake of reading the news and watching TV, it helps you better relate to girls (not that I’m saying that dealing with girls is like dealing with kids, no…), it keeps you away from cringeworthy behaviour like for instance spitting evermore sensationalist nonsense on “social” media, ideally it will stop certain people regurgitating the same old pointless pontifications day in and day out, etc.

It’s very simple indeed:

watching cartoons = good

not watching cartoons = bad

All right, the brilliant idea… You should know that I’ve always had a habit of using customised ringtones in every phone I’ve had, starting from the late 90’s when I was recording bits of songs played on the stereo using the rudimental mic of my first phone, and then loading mp3 files – which had been properly edited to my liking – once Bluetooth became available on mobile phones (those were the pre-smartphone days).

Using customised ringtones was very useful because back then people were still making calls, and considering that the ones of my contacts who were calling me the most had a personalised ringtone each somewhat related to them, I knew exactly who was calling as soon as the phone started to ring, without the need to look at the screen.

And more than anything, using customised ringtones was a cool thing to do, especially considering that 99.97% of the world population was using one of the default ringtones which came with the phone, and conservatively speaking a good 50.4% of that of that 99.97% was using the default Nokia ringtone – so boring.

The other day, while I was watching the Looney Tunes cartoons, I found the ringtone for my future girlfriend, should one day decide to get one again.

And considering that maybe you have a proper girlfriend as of now, I’m sharing the song with you, should you want to go ahead and use it as the customised ringtone for when your GF calls. Even in this age of social misery, it’s still normal for couples to sometimes call themselves, or at the very least this was true as of three years ago, hence you may actually have the opportunity to use the ringtone!

Enough talking, this is the ideal ringtone for the girlfriend, the first 16s of the clip to be precise.

Seriously guys, how cool is that customised GF ringtone?!

Emoji LOL

But assigning that ringtone to your GF is only part of the fun, because then you need to tell her about it and see the reaction!!

A little idea to have the conversation started, once you are at your place or at hers:

I’ve been feeling artistic today!!

You’ve been feeling… artistic??

Yes! I created a customised ringtone for you, so that it plays every time you call me!

You did?! And what song is that??

Give me a call and you’ll find out…

<she calls your number>

I’m a tweet little bird in a gilded cage, Tweety’s my name but I don’t know my age, I don’t have to worry and that is that, I’m safe in here from that old puddy tat.

That is an advanced level of coolness, and every time I’ve had a girlfriend, our conversations were always of that extreme level of “seriousness”, mainly because I always got myself a Playfully Naive Girl rather than a Joyfully Mature Woman. In rare glimpses of rationality, I acknowledge that should I one day decide to start looking for the mother of my children, then I will need to select a Joyfully Mature Woman. But as of now, the Playfully Naive Girls are the way to go.

Anyway, whether your GF is a Playfully Naive Girl or a Joyfully Mature Woman, there is one and only one acceptable reaction to the above conversation.


Should the reaction from your GF be anything other than that, it’s time to ask yourself a few hard questions, because either you ended up with a “strong independent woman” (shame on you 😂), or she doesn’t perceive you as dominant enough and consequently she hasn’t fully submitted to you. Anyway, let’s keep the topic light for today, and let’s not elaborate on this point any further.

But what if I don’t want a girlfriend?

Don’t worry! I’ve got you covered as well ;)

Did you watch the entire clip? There is another inspirational part at second 50, but I can’t embed clips starting at a specific time. Hence, either wait for the right moment to arrive, or if you are that lazy, just click on this link:


Did you catch the words pronounced by Tweety in the first few seconds?

Excellent – that is going to be the notification sound assigned to all of your so-called “leads”. When a girl you’ve only just met replies to your icebreaker text, and when a girl who wants to go out with you replies to your date-scheduling text, and when a girl you’ve just had a date with tells you what a nice evening you’ve had together, etc… Every time a girl you are interested in sends you a text, you will have the little Tweety bird chirping:

Well what do you know… I’ve got an admirer!

That is the right mindset, because girls are cute and playful little Tweety birds, and if instead you perceive them as scary or as something which commands attention, then it means that you need to keep putting yourself out there, and get more experienced.

The KPI for understanding whether you have amassed enough experience and enough coolness is simple: when you think of the hot girl you have a date scheduled with, the cute little Tweety bird will come to mind.

The hot girl in your eyes

As a side bonus, that “I’ve got an admirer!” part will keep reminding you not to chase girls and not to provide them with free validation, also because you are going to text for logistics only.

And if you plan on “entertaining her” via text or on “building rapport” via text, then guess what, now you are an “admirer” who provides her with free validation.

Another simple situation:

providing her with free validation = bad

not providing her with free validation = good

And if on one side providing free validation should be made not only criminal offense but rather felony, because it greatly pumps women’s egos and irreparably distorts the marketplace, there is a more practical reason of why you shouldn’t provide free validation in the form of chasing girls: it doesn’t work.

Instead, if you are interested in doing things which work, keep working on your Fundamentals, stay playful and away from bitterness, put yourself out there, and don’t stress girls out. If they play along that’s fine, otherwise you just deploy the Two-Step Eject Procedure.

Two-Step Eject Procedure
Step 1 = delete all messages
Step 2 = delete her number

Corollary to the Two-Step Eject Procedure
You will ignore all texts from unsaved numbers, exception made for the very first text you had the girl send you with her name only, if you happened not to have your phone on you when the two of you exchanged numbers.

Simple as that.

And if you really want to be stubborn and chase girls, I recommend two things. First off, make sure that your SMV is low enough, so that her consideration of high-SMV guys won’t be affected by your clinginess and your neediness. Then, remember that no matter how stubbornly and how desperately you chase her, you will end up just like Sylvester the Cat.

You when you chase the hot girl

And this is it for today, can the coolness be with you guys.

The Essentials:
• Fundamentals

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