Let’s continue the conversation on screening, because screening girls the right way is essential for your own wellbeing.
We have already seen how there are two main components to screening, namely the screening which you make based on experience, and the screening which you make based on things which are downright repulsive to you.
In the previous post we have gone through my Remote Screening Mechanism, which immediately filters out things which are repulsive to me. Your own RSM may be somewhat different compared to mine, because maybe you love tattoos or Converse, or maybe there are things which are downright repulsive to you yet not even mentioned in my own list, but the underlying principle still applies: you filter out things which you find are repulsive there and then, without making exceptions due to a situation of scarcity, because otherwise that would be just resorting to a different form of supplication.
If a girl passes your own Remote Screening Mechanism, and should you actually decide to pursue her, any additional screening will be based either on your previous experience or lack thereof. And this leads us to the two types of Experience-Driven Screening Mechanisms:
Let’s see what I mean by that.
When you are just getting started with women, by definition you won’t have a lot of experience yet.
In this day and age things are a bit different compared to when I was getting started with women, and some of you guys may think, even just for a split second, that the huge amount of information available out there may act as a substitute for first-hand experience, but there are two problems with that approach.
First off, the overwhelming majority of the seduction material present online is only applicable online, meaning that the guys posting that material don’t have the slightest clue of what they are talking about, but at the same time what they say sounds sensationalistic enough and “alpha” enough to get them an undisputed position of “guru” in the so-called “seduction community”. In all fairness, that façade can only last so long, because once a guy starts getting more experienced, he will be able to realise that the material provided by said “gurus” is pure bullshit (keep excusing my French please), but luckily for those “gurus”, the vast majority of guys never start putting things into practice in the real world.
Then, nothing beats first-hand experience, and even if you find a credible source of information and you read something they say on a specific aspect of seduction, the day you get to experience the very same thing on your own skin, that day you will have learnt things which you wouldn’t have been able to learn not even by reading that specific topic discussed in a hundred different credible sources of information. First-hand experience is that effective, if you are mature enough to listen to what that first-hand experience is trying to tell you.
And the way you develop first-hand experience is by putting yourself out there, by trying different things, and by checking what works and what doesn’t in which circumstances.
At this stage it will be like extracting numbers out of the lottery drawing machine, meaning that you don’t really know what to expect, you wait for the machine to spit out a number, but there is a caveat in this example: if you don’t like the number you have been given, you can just put it back, let the numbers mix a bit more, and then get another one.
With time trends will start to emerge, and little by little you will have a better grasp of say which openers work best for you, which texting strategy works best for you, which date locations work best for you, etc. You will develop a feel for which girls are going to be interested in your attention only, without planning of ever getting together with you, which girls are planning on using you as the pen pal for when they are bored, which girls are only going to be interested in getting free drinks out of you, and which girls are going to be interested – wait for it – in you!! They exist indeed, it’s just that you need to remember the Differentiation Principle at all times.
There are many wonderful girls out there. And then there is also a lot of dirt.
In this phase, it’s only normal to leave some free validation on the table, and it’s only normal for you to chase girls a little bit, since you are still figuring things out. And that’s fine – in moderation – but with one important caveat: you must not let your neediness and your ego act as the black hole which absorbs the indisputable evidence before you, and replaces it with whichever reality you want to see instead.
Actually, the above concept is extremely important, and as such it deserves some more prominence.
You must not let your neediness and your ego act as the black hole which absorbs the indisputable evidence before you, and replaces it with whichever reality you want to see instead.
In my own case, I was at this initial screening level back in high school and in my early twenties, when I was still figuring things out, and then again in my early thirties, when I found myself newly single and “a bit” rusty after six years out of the market, but most importantly when I found myself operating in an environment which was completely new to me.
To some extent, this phase is never really over, because for instance at some point I thought I was once again on top of things, only to then meet the HPD girl and realise that I had never encountered such a peculiar situation before. It took me a month or so in Lottery mode to figure out things with her, but then I learnt what was to be learnt with regard to HPD girls (short summary: run), and I updated my screening mechanism accordingly. And this example leads us to the subsequent screening type.
Once meanings start to emerge out of what you have experienced in Lottery mode, at that point you will need to actively consolidate those meanings into the so-called “reference memories”, and you will always need to compare the situation you are currently experiencing with a specific girl to those precious reference memories.
The reference memories are invaluable because they constitute what we refer to as “experience”, and they can give you quite a big edge compared to the less experienced guys, providing that you can accept the meaning those reference memories are trying to assign to a specific situation without overwriting it with what you want to see instead (Rule #1).
The two main areas where reference memories come in handy are:
● Knowing what each type of girl better responds to
● Knowing when to write a girl off
At the cost of sounding dehumanising, let me tell you that what people refer to as “experience” is just a long list of related IF THEN statements, and after you have amassed enough experience yourself, you will have pretty much the entire spectrum covered.
Here’s an example:
IF (she replies to date-scheduling text) = TRUE THEN (set up date) ELSE (Two-Step Eject Procedure)
And by the way, if you are wondering what the “Two-Step Eject Procedure” is, you can find it in the Applied Maths section with all the other mathematical breakthroughs and innovative concepts introduced so far in the blog.
Needless to say, women go through an equivalent set of IF THEN statements, the “only” difference being that in the IF function the is not a logic fact, but rather the emotions she’s feeling at the moment, or your present/future compliance to the role she has devised for you.
Another important thing to mention is that, depending on what you are planning to accomplish with a specific girl, you can be more or less picky in terms of the Experience-Driven Screening Mechanism, and in terms of the metaphor we are have been using, you can use a Sieve with either large or tight mesh.
Taking as an example the above picture, quite possibly you can use Sieve Level 1 when you are looking for some casual fun, Sieve Level 2 when you are looking for a girlfriend, and Sieve Level 3 when you are looking for a life partner (and notice how I didn’t say “wife”).
But no matter which Sieve you decide to use, the important difference between this advanced type of screening and the previous one is that the Sieve always and promptly filters out girls who are not interested in you, and no chasing whatsoever is allowed here, no matter how much of a “special snowflake” you think she is.
What different types of mesh do is paying attention to, or quite possibly ignoring given the circumstances, some minor non-compliances that the girl has with respect to your ideal requirements.
The next few posts are going to be very much actionable, covering things ranging from my daygame opener to my texting routine and my date model. I will share a lot of experience-driven learnings there, and some of those learnings are going to be very much black and white. That binary approach may seem “a bit much” to some of you guys, especially to the ones of you who are still figuring things out, but I’ve gathered enough experience on certain aspects that I can be very much resolute in assigning meanings to them and then taking ruthless decisions accordingly.
In this post I’ve shared the proactive approach I take in the never-ending process of building my invaluable toolkit of “reference memories”, and then using it to better navigate the Sexual Market place without repeating previous mistakes and without leaving any unnecessary of free validation on the table.
Second Law of Seductiondynamics
Free validation shall be minimised in order not to evolve towards the state with maximum entitlement.
I recommend everyone goes through the very same process, in order to create a robust set of experience-driven checkpoints which unquestionably tell you where you stand with a specific girl. Your own wellbeing, in addition to your time and your money, will greatly benefit from the ability to quickly screen out girls who are not interested in you first, and girls who are not a good fit for you then.
• Girls I can’t be bothered with