As we saw when comparing different types of Game, there are multiple subsets to daygame. Yet, when people refer to “daygame”, what they usually mean is “direct daytime cold-approaching”.
We will adopt the very same convention here, hence in this post “daygame” equals to “direct daytime cold-approaching”. Hardly my favourite type of Game, but it must be admitted that it comes with two big advantages, namely the high turnover of girls and the low reputational risks. At the same time though, it can be the quickest way to hand out a big amount of validation for free, while getting a rapid sequence of almost instant rejections in return, and this is hardly an ideal situation in my book.
As such, we need to come up with some expedients to protect our own mental wellbeing first, to keep us away from bitterness then, and to limit free validation finally.
Designing an opener
Situational scenarios are my favourite, because as long as you have a good grasp of the yet-to-be-introduced “Triple B Methodology”, things just happen: the opener comes up naturally given the circumstances, the background is there to help you out, the conversation effortlessly ensues (assuming there is some interest on the other side), and after a couple of days you find yourself in a date with the girl you met on the bus/at the museum/etc.
Daygame is not like that, things don’t “just happen”, and as a matter of fact you won’t be able to be as effortless and as “situational” when stopping a girl who was walking somewhere in the middle of the day. Indirect openers are not the way to go, because the transition from asking her for information to hitting on her is going to be unnatural and she will feel like being played, hence you need to go direct. Fair enough, but how?
In this post we will see the opener which I designed, meaning that I literarily took a piece of paper and designed an initial structure based on a visualization exercise, then I went out and field tested it, and finally I changed it in closed loop until I reached something I was happy with, in terms of my objective and my requirements.
● Get the conversation started
● Minimise free validation
● Avoid rejections from taken girls
As such, what we’ll cover in this post is the best opener for me, based on my objective and my requirements. And should your situation be any different compared to mine, you can go through the very same process and come up with a different opener which is the best for you.
The next section is going to be particularly harsh, because there are people who keep providing huge amounts of validation for free, and quite frankly I detest that behaviour. Fact is, entitled girls are not born but made, and the culprits of such obscene crime are the hordes of thirsty boys who have provided enormous amount of free validation to said girls, both in the real world and in the virtual world. The virtual world is beyond hope, because every spineless kid and his dog can send a message or a like behind the protection of his screen, and the last thing this planet needs is for the very same cringeworthiness to spread into the real world (I’m talking about daytime, because nightlife is pretty much done for already).
Now, I’m not saying that each and every of us is either an overcompensating PUAs uncapable of introspection, or a cucked simp uncapable of self-respect. Absolutely not. We all start off inexperienced when it comes to getting girls, and as we saw when discussing the different screening types, at the beginning it’s only normal to leave some free validation on the table, because we are still figuring things out and we will be making mistakes. Fine.
Heck, when I went back into the approaching grinder back in 2017, I stopped a girl in one of my first approaches, and after using the initial structure which we will see below, I told her she looked very beautiful. You should have seen the look in her eyes, all of a sudden she switched from mildly pleased to extremely disappointed, and that’s how I re-figured out that that sentence was best avoided! Incidentally, one day I was reading I don’t even remember what, I noticed the very same sentence listed in a section called “suicidal openers”, and I found myself nodding in agreement:
This is to say that, if you are a well-intentioned guy capable of introspection and who reflects on his mistakes in order to improve, the following section is not for you. On the other hand, if you are a spam approacher who keeps handing out huge amount of validation for free, without ever questioning whether the system he uses has any margin of improvement, that section is indeed for you.
And before we get started, a message for the odd girl who may stumble upon this post: what follows risks of ruining the magic for you, because if you ever get approached by a charming Cool Guy who uses a structure similar to the one shown below, that potentially magic moment will be somewhat ruined by you having read the remaining part of this post. Hence, out of all the posts which I have already released and which I will release in the future, can you give this single one a miss, pretty please?? 😇
All right, now that I can rest assured that each and every girl stumbling upon this post will simply ignore what I’ve just said and keep reading instead, let’s crack on!
Dismissing the PUA nonsense
There is a certain “wisdom” within the PUA community on how to cold-approach a girl:
First you let her pass, then you playfully run after her in order to position yourself in front of her, and finally you say something like, “Hey, I saw you walking from down there, and I had to come here to tell you that you look cute”.
You playfully run after her? You compliment her right off the bat?
There are no words to explain how wrong that “wisdom” is, and since there are no words indeed, let’s use a picture instead.
I mean, going through the above process once or twice is fine, provided that you then realise how cringeworthy that way of doing things really is, and you proceed to make the necessary adjustments. But keep banging your head over and over on that hard rock instead – bang bang bang – day in and day out every month of the year – bang bang bang – and not realising how socially retarded you are for doing so over and over again – bang bang bang – doing so means that you fully deserve the huge amount of harsh rejections you get out of your “winning system”.
But since running after a girl 😱 and compliment her right off the bat 😱 doesn’t seem to be enough for our “champions”, they proceed to keep showering her with compliments just to win some more of her time and of her attention, in order not to make her run away just yet. And a logical fallacy follows, which is usually summarised like this:
The catwalk model I approached was a bit cold to start with, but eventually she started showing me IOIs as we kept talking.
It goes without saying that the typical PUA only ever approaches catwalk models, who then start begging him to be allowed into his harem, but even without focusing on those little details, let’s consider that “she started showing me IOIs” part.
Let’s imagine that one day you are stopped by an old lady, and she starts showering you with compliments telling you over and over what a good-looking guy you are, what a nice jacket you are wearing, what a nice smile you have, how smart you seem to be, etc. Eventually, it’s only normal for you to start smiling at the old lady, no matter how sexually uninterested you are in her, because what she’s saying makes you feel good about yourself, and this in turn makes you smile. Needless to say, in this example those smiles – those “IOIs” according to PUA nomenclature – those smiles won’t be for the old lady, but for yourself instead.
In the equivalent situation where you stop a girl and you start showering her with compliments, her smiles won’t be for you, but for herself instead: you keep reminding her what a special snowflake she really is, and this makes her feel good. A couple of hours later she won’t even remember about you, but she will remember very well about herself instead.
Not that I want to bruise any ego, but part of the awakening process is to fully internalise realities like this one, and to understand that if you stop a girl and you start compliment her over and over, you are simply providing more free validation on top of the initial compliment you delivered right off the bat.
By now the PUAs should have auto-rejected and left the blog, hence let’s look at how to open girls properly.
And by the way, if you are a well-intentioned guy who is using the above method, drop it immediately and reconsider the source of information where you got it from.
A. Initial stop
It’s extremely important to appear effortless when approaching a girl, because the last thing you want is to give her the impression that you are chasing her already, even before having talked to her (how would that be for signalling desperation and neediness?!).
Ironically enough, the effort you may actually need to utilise in order to appear effortless in your approach may possibly be more than the one required for “simply running after her”, because maybe you need to orchestrate things in a laborious way in order to appear effortless, but what counts is not the effort you have actually put in, rather the effort she has the impression you have put in, and this latter part is what needs minimised as much as possible.
You always need to appear effortless in her eyes, meaning that the effort she has the impression you have put in needs to be as low as possible.
The initial words to get her attention are going to be whatever works in the country you live in to stop a random stranger in an innocuous way during the day:
Good morning, ma’am
Excuse me, miss
Let’s put it this way: those initial words are going to be the same you would use if you were to stop an old lady to ask her for information, and the same goes for your facial expression, which needs to be pleasantly relaxed and cordial, yet not “sexy”.
When you first call the girl to get her attention, in theory you can do so from wherever you are compared to her (e.g. from the side, from behind, etc) and your Social Calibration will tell you how to proceed in order not to creep her out given the circumstances.
B. Checkpoint #1
This phase is extremely important. As we saw when looking at how I evaluate my approaches, the first two questions I ask myself when thinking back at an approach are:
● Did she stop to talk?
● Was she at least cordial?
And in that post we saw how, in order for you to protect your own self-image and steer clear of bitterness, a positive answer to those two questions is indeed needed.
Without even considering the extreme cases of girls who are so miserable and so worthless that won’t even turn around when a decent human being who may simply be looking for some information tries to ger their attention in a calibrated way, without considering that scum which keeps wasting the precious oxygen of our lovely planet, let’s consider the more normal cases of girls who turn around in your direction when you try to get their attention.
I’d say we are looking at four different possibilities here.
If the girl saw you coming and she likes you very much, or if she simply likes you very much and she’s not shy, she will welcome you with a nice smile indeed.
If all girls reacted in such a delightful way we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place, but there is another possibility which is still very good, and possibly even more so.
Fact is, and quite possibly this is going to sound strange, in my experience the girls who are very warm towards you are the ones who like you very much, yet at the same time have nothing at stake because they are taken already, and as such they can just enjoy the moment without feeling any tension whatsoever. As a side note, there are also girls who react very warm towards because they have a “hidden agenda”, but their fakeness will be unmissable.
Remembering that we are talking about pure cold-approaching and not situational scenarios, most of the girls who are potentially interested in you, rather than “only” being attracted to you, are going to react like this.
This sounds a bit counterintuitive even to me, because my mind is somehow conditioned to think that either she welcomes me with a warm smile or she’s not interested, but then I think again at how most of the staff in my Routine Circle is literarily petrified the first time we meet, only to them start melting once we have met three or four times and they have had the time to get accustomed to my presence, and things start making sense in terms of how the above initial reaction is good.
Hence, if you stop a girl and she has a neutral expression or maybe even a little bit tense, stay there and don’t eject, since that reaction is good (interesting how I have the impression that I’m writing that sentence for myself rather than for you guys).
The important is for the girl you have stopped not to show any signs of the Dealbreaker Triangle, especially bitchiness. Talking of which, let’s look at some of the initial reactions which are not good:
There are girls out there who are indeed miserable, and even if ideally they are going to be written-off by your Pre-Emptive Screening Mechanism, some of them will still manage to seep through it.
That’s “fine”, but you need to remember something.
You will never ever tolerate bitchiness.
Needless to say, you will stop the conversation there and then, before turning around and walking away, but not that fast. First, I would encourage you to show contempt and disgust at the bitch by wrinkling your nose and having a disgusted look in your eyes, then you can dismiss her with a Don’t worry about it or something similar, and finally you can eject while playing the usual musical twist in your head:
You are now-now rockin’ with will.i.am and fuck you bitch
Let’s remember that you may have been just a lost tourist asking for information at this part of the conversation, but self-pedestalisation by miserable bitches is indeed a thing, and there have been real cases when I was just a tourist asking for some quick directions, with no second aim whatsoever, and I got those kinds of looks back. No big deal, the procedure is always the same: show contempt, dismiss her, eject.
In the current social misery we live in though, negative reactions from bitches can get even worse than the previous ones.
Worse than the previous ones indeed, and let’s not kid ourselves guys: those extreme reactions are rare – fine – but if you’ve ever done any real approaches in the real world, chances are you bumped into the odd female human being (“girl” is too much here) who reacted in such a miserable and worthless way.
Again, that’s “fine”, but you need to remember something else.
Good behaviour shall be rewarded. Bad behaviour shall be punished.
Since those looks are even more miserable than the previous ones, your reaction needs to be harsher. Feel free to wave your hand as of to push her away from you, all the way while showing disgust and contempt at her, and if you speak any language other than the local one, feel free to accompany those gestures with the some carefully chosen insulting words from that language. Without screaming and over-exaggerating things, but rather calmly and figuratively pushing that dirt away from you, making sure that she has a good grasp of what you think of her through your remote actions. Then go away, and don’t engage with the bitch any longer, no matter what she says or what she does in reaction to your dismissive little show.
Let’s remember once again that you could have been just a casual tourist asking for information there, hence those looks are absolutely unacceptable, and they need to be punished in a way which will hurt the bitch quite significantly from an emotional standpoint, yet at the same time won’t give you any trouble with the local authorities. And by the way guys, the Terms of Service are there for a reason, and this material is for “personal entertainment purposes” only 😇.
Some of you guys may now be wondering whether it was appropriate to account for those bitches as well in this conversation, because maybe you are still a little bit scared of approaching and now I’ve just made the situation even worse for you, but being fully aware of what’s out there is part of the awakening process, and this in turn will make you ready for that moment should it one day materialise.
My number one rule is hope for the best, plan for the worst – Ezra Kramer during the CIA briefing (The Bourne Ultimatum, 2007).
And now, after looking at the above combative and miserable Evil Bitches…
You will ignore the dirt and focus on the worthy girls only.
And as such, let’s focus on the worthy girls only.
These girls are allowed to the next step.
C. Attention funnel
This part is extremely important, surely more than the “opener” itself which is going to follow afterwards.
The girl stopped in the first place, and then passed Checkpoint #1 with flying colours. Good.
Now you need to break her out of auto-pilot mode.
The structure below works for me given the circumstances, and you need to come up with something similar to gain some more of her unsuspicious and focused attention in order for her to fully acknowledge you as a real human being, rather than one of usual sources of inconvenience (i.e. beggars, salespeople, charity collectors, signature collectors, etc).
Do you speak [local language]?
Ok, I need some information, but we just need to speak slowly because I’m not very good with the local language…
And remember guys, at this point of the conversation you must not show any approval-seeking smile, any cheeky smile, any Nice Guy smile – let’s make it easy to remember and let’s say you must not smile at all.
Instead, you will have a relaxed and cordial expression on your face, as if you were about to ask her for the time.
D. High Value opener
But you are not going to ask her for the time…
Are you single?
Let’s give credit where is due, and let me tell you that I got the idea for the above opener from a post by Ricardus Domino at GirlChase.com, but apart from that one single sentence, everything else in this post comes from yours truly.
E. Checkpoint #2
After you’ve asked her the question, everything we have covered in Checkpoint #1 still applies, meaning that if she shows any of that angry bitchiness you will simply shrug her off in the same way as above (i.e. show contempt, dismiss her, eject).
In addition to those dismissive and haughty looks, now there is another case which will win her a nice write-off, and that’s if she instantly turns her head sideways, or all the way back 180°, before rewinding her neck back and looking at you once again (spoiler: the look in her eyes won’t be the most pleased…).
Let’s now assume that the girl has not shown any bitchiness, and she has not sprung her head sideways: Checkpoint #2 passed.
Are you single?
If the girl replies No with a sweet smile, and especially if she thanks you for expressing your interest after letting you know that she’s taken already, smile back at her, wish her a good day, and go. There is absolutely no need to persist, nor is there any need to propose her to “meet up again as friends”, because girls who treat you well need to be treated well back, hence stay away from that cringeworthiness.
If the girl replies No with a bitchy expression, dismiss her with something like That’s fine you can go and leave.
If the girl replies Yes with a bitchy expression, dismiss her with something like Don’t worry about it and leave.
If the girl replies Yes, but… it means that she’s not interested in you. Agree with whatever excuse she has just made (Ok that’s fine, I understand), then say Goodbye cordially, and finally go without wishing her a good day.
If the girl sweetly replies Yes, why? it most likely means that she doesn’t see you that way. She will make an excuse the first time you then propose to meet up again, and if she actually puts up that excuse later on, wish her well and go – she treated you well, and you treat her well back by not persisting.
If the girl replies Yes with an expression which can range from blushy on one extreme to slightly intimidated on the other extreme, the game is ON.
The only case where I think some little persisting is advisable is if the girl replies Yes with a shy expression, and then later on during the conversation she says something like I think you need to find a more interesting girl. That’s a bizarre situation indeed, and most likely the girl has low self-esteem to start with, and with your direct approach you have sent her into some internal chaos. This situation can be recovered in your favour, but if you decide to persist a little bit and recover the situation, you must remember to then treat her with white gloves, emotionally speaking, since those girls absolutely do not deserve to be hurt by you.
F. Reason you stopped her
The girl has now passed Checkpoint #2, and the time is right for you to remember this song by Pink, or rather its title to be precise:
That’s right, now you need to give her a reason why you stopped her, you need to explain what sparked your interest in her:
When I saw you I thought you looked sweet, and I fancied talking with you :)
That’s right, you have just complimented her, but let’s keep in mind that by this time the girl has not only passed the Remote Screening Mechanism and the Pre-Emptive Screening Mechanism, but also two different Checkpoints during the interaction! And as such, your compliment is in full compliance with the Second Law of Seductiondynamics (Applied Maths).
Also, a girl who has made it that far in your screening process deserves indeed a genuine compliment, especially considering that said compliment is going to mention the very reason why you wanted to talk with her in the first place, hence now it’s the time to mention that reason.
Notice how the key word from the above sentence is “sweet”, because I like sweet and adorable girls, and as such I screen for sweetness. Should you like a different trait instead, screen for that different trait, whatever that is, and then compliment her on it after she has passed Checkpoint #2.
G. Checkpoint #3
In theory, being referred to as “sweet” should be considered as the ultimate compliment by each and every girl out there, but things work slightly different in the miserable times we live in.
This means that, should the girl now react “offended” or bitchy at you having called her “sweet”, you dismiss her with something like Don’t worry about it, I got mistaken and go away.
If she qualifies to your nice and genuine compliment instead, you start having a proper conversation with her, but we will cover this in my next post, because if on one side everything we have discussed so far will happen in 15 to 30 seconds in practice, in this post we are already 4,000 words in!
Putting it all together
Let’s do a quick summary after all this talking:
Do you speak [local language]?
Ok, I need some information, but we just need to speak slowly because I’m not very good with the local language…
Are you single?
Cool, when I saw you I thought you looked sweet, and I fancied talking with you :)
TO BE CONTINUED
Let’s now address some questions you guys may have, and if you have some more, feel free to contact me.
Wouldn’t it have been better to start the post with this final summary list?
No. The above summary list only makes sense at the end of a more elaborate conversation, and considering that the Internet is already flooded by pointless Twitter-style “information”, there is really no reason whatsoever to contribute to that overcompensating feel-good nonsense. Besides, this blog is for people who want to improve their romantic lives for real, not for people who need a few random lines to scroll through while they are bored on their way to work/school.
Do I need to be of a certain level of attractiveness to use the opener and the overall supporting structure you are suggesting?
Are you sure about that?
Care to elaborate?
Sure. Let’s assume that instead of asking the girl if she’s single as an opener, you give her a nice compliment. Do you really think that by complimenting her right off the bat will have you any “edge” in her eyes? If so, do you think we are still in say 1951? Or maybe in a post-war little Russian city in the middle of nowhere, where the ratio is three young women for each young man, since a huge number of young men has been killed in a recently finished war? Moving back to present times, do you think that girls in this day and age are hungry for direct male interest? Do you expect the girl you have just complimented to react like the girl in this clip?
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that when you complimented a girl back in 1951, or maybe in the little post-war Russian city with a shortage of men, the girl was pleased by the compliment itself. No, she was pleased to have received some direct male interest, because men were in high demand back then, considering that they controlled the resources, and as such the prime objective of each girl was to secure a financially stable men to provide for her. But those times are long gone, because as of now women have direct access to the resources, masculine strength is not really needed for survival, and as such men have been made redundant to some extent in our cringeworthy feminised society. In turn, this explains why the war on masculinity and the shaming campaign against heterosexual men have been a thing for some time now, and it also explains why you need to be ruthless in minimising free validation, since your attention is pretty much the only leverage you have in the SMP nowadays.
And since women these days don’t need to play anymore the part of the conservative girl who is sooo pleased to have received a polite compliment by a well-mannered Gentlemen who wants to take care of her, don’t go around complimenting girls and providing them with free validation.
Also because, women are the gatekeepers of both sex and relationships in real life (keyboard jockeys tend to differ on this point), considering that there is never any shortage of pathetic simps and obedient soyboys to fill the BF position at the snap of her fingers. As such, first make sure that she’s single, then you can compliment her, if your compliment is genuine. Doing so will minimise free validation, and if you strive to keep free validation as low as possible through your actions, then you can call yourself a Man.
Why did you talk so extensively about possible bad reactions from bitches and how to handle them?
Because harsh rejections are like negative subliminal messages: if you let them pass through, instead of pushing them back there and then, they will destroy your confidence from within. As such, you push them back there and then, ruthlessly, since you ain’t Mr. Nice Guy.
Why did you go for that specific “attention funnel”?
Because the answer to the first question is always going to be “yes” here where I live, similar if you ask people in a provincial US city if they speak English. The girl doesn’t need to think during the attention funnel, all she has to do is to disable the auto-pilot mode and to start looking at you as a real human being who is currently talking to her, rather than as a source of annoyance which is to be dismissed automatically.
What if I really like the girl but she says she has a boyfriend?
You can ask her if the relationship is serious and if she loves her boyfriend, because maybe they are just getting started and the “relationship” may last a couple of weeks only, or on the other extreme the relationship is falling apart as of now. Possibly you can suggest exchanging numbers so that she can get back in touch once she has cleared her head, but I’m just speculating here. Anyway, whatever you decide to do, don’t try to hijack a relationship which is going well, and don’t make the girl cheat on her boyfriend with you, since there is already enough social misery in this world. If I ever experience the situation we are discussing here, I will update this section accordingly.
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And this is it for today, take care guys.
• After the opener